Waiting in the Wings (December 10, 2001) Written & Directed by: Joss Whedon Teaser INT. HOTEL LOBBY/GARDEN - MORNING ANGLE ON: An engraving of a hideous female (i.e. Six-breasted) demon with a human limb in its mouth. It's all gross. WESLEY (O. S.) Beautiful.... Widen to see WESLEY going through a demon books with a dreamy look on his face. WESLEY Honestly, have you ever seen anything lovelier? So graceful, so... full of life... and those eyes... make you feel like you're the only man in the room. CORDELIA looks over his shoulder. CORDELIA Plus, six breasts -- any guy's gotta love that. WESLEY (confused) Fred doesn't have six breasts. (suddenly worried) Right? CORDELIA (indicating picture) Sorialus the Ravager. And, yeah, she's the one from my vision. WESLEY Coming to destroy the humans that killed her mate. CORDELIA But not for another month or so. I'll file her under pending. You gonna ask her out? WESLEY The Ravager? CORDELIA Fred. WESLEY Oh. Yes. Yes. But you know, tiñming. I'll make my move right when I feel the iron is hot. CORDELIA Well, get it done, Johnnie Reb, so I can hear about something else and you can do something besides feeling your hot iron. WESLEY Am I very boring on the subject? CORDELIA (playful) You know, there was a time when you thought I was the loveliest thing in the world. WESLEY Well, I... you're an extraordinary woman, and certainly beautiful, I -- CORDELIA At ease, soldier. Just like to hear it every now and then. Get a little of the love. Something, anyway. I was the ditsiest bitch in Sunnydale, coulda had any man I wanted; now I'm all superhero-y and the best action I can get is an invisible ghost who's good with a loofah. She realizes she's shared too much. Wesley smiles sympathetically. WESLEY Sorry, I missed that last part. CORDELIA You are a gentleman. ANGEL Who's doing what with a loofah? Of course he's right there, and of course he missed the point entirely. WESLEY Not loofah... Loo....FAHnoocthskmuh. Demôon: very... cleansing, bad demon -- CORDELIA So! What's up with you? Hey, you went with the dark colors today! It's a look. Angel smiles. ANGEL Ask me why I'm smiling. CORDELIA I will because it's scaring me. Angel reaches into his pocket, pulls out five tickets to something. ANGEL We... are steppin' out. ANGEL: IN THE GARDEN FRED and GUNN are walking together, arriving from breakfast. (Note: If the walk and talk times out long, I will want to double side the set dressing beyond the gate and shoot some of this on their backs before they reach it.) GUNN So as soon as the restaurant closed, BAM, I jimmy it and we're in there eating everything. Alonna's cookin' up steaks, I'm pulling out bottles of wine -- 'cause it's hard to find a wine that goes with every single item of food in the place, which is pretty much what we ate. There wasn't any "Think ahead, Save it for later", just the moment: us living high. He pauses, remembering. Fred worries: FRED I'm sorry if, you... I didn't mçean to bring up your sister... GUNN No, I like talking about her. With you, anyway. You kind of remind me of her. Fred is clearly affected by the compliment. GUNN (cont'd) Particularly the way you can shovel a mountain range of food into your mouth, that is some olympian feat, that much eating -- FRED Oh, was I a pig? It's just that first breakfast seems to go so quick and I'm always still -- GUNN I'm just wondering where it goes in that little stick-figure body you got. She hits him, offended. FRED Stick -- you're a beast. GUNN Oh, come on, you know you're gorgeous. He's through the doors as he says it, not even realizing the effect THAT compliment has on her. She follows in after a moment. GUNN (cont'd) Morning, friends and neighbors. Hellos from the three as Gunn sees on the counter: GUNN (cont'd) Are those the tickets? You got 'em? ANGEL (excited) Well I got to the ticket place and -- GUNN Oh, I'm paying you back. This is on me. WESLEY Good morning, Fred.ñ FRED Hey. She crosses to Wes as Gunn approaches the tix. FRED (cont'd) Did you find out the scary? WESLEY Eventually -- do you want to see? FRED Yeah yeah! GUNN Mahta Hari is the tightest band in L.A., you guys are gonna be tripping out -- ANGEL The only thing is -- GUNN I said I'm good for it, man -- don't have to worry about dipping into Connor's college fund. Time I saw Mahta Hari at the Troubador, they were the Blinnikov World Ballet Corps... He's reading that last part, slower, his expression changing. GUNN (cont'd) What's going on? ANGEL Trying to tell you. I went to the ticket place and Boom. Tonight only. GUNN But... you got ballet on my Mahta Hari tickets. ANGEL This is the Blinnikov World Ballet Corps. CORDELIA He's been saying that like it has meaning. ANGEL This is one of the premiere companies in the world. And they're doing Giselle! It's their signature piece. GUNN This is all like some horrible dream. WESLEY I think I've heard of them -- very ahea÷d of their time. ANGEL Oh yeah. I saw their production of Giselle in 1890 -- cried like a baby. And I was evil! FRED I think it sounds exciting. WESLEY Yes, yes. GUNN No, no... ANGEL Gunn -- GUNN (more desperate than angry) This is not Mahta Hari. This is tutu's, and the guys with their big- ass packages jumping up and down... this is just... (to Angel) I will never trust you again. The trust is gone. CORDELIA Oh, get over it. (to Angel) Do we get dressed up? ANGEL Of course. CORDELIA I'm in. ANGEL (to all) Seeing real ballet, live, it's... it's like another world. (to Gunn) Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're gonna be tripping out. GUNN Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust. CORDELIA Come on, Guys, working day. Cases to solve. Everyone fades toward the office as Gunn continues to hold the tickets, lost. GUNN Okay, but, I'm not still paying, right, 'cause... it's like a nightmare... INT. BOX SEAT, THEATRE - DAY A THEATRE MANAGER is showing the box to÷ THE COUNT. The house lights are not up, and it's dark and elegantly atmospheric in here. The Count appears to be a man out of time, he is so elegantly dressed, he wears what looks like a royal medal, a bejewelled affair on a ribbon around his neck. He observes the box, looks to the stage. MANAGER I hope this is all right. The count says nothing. MANAGER (cont'd) It's such an honor to have the company here, I have to say. All of L.A. is buzzing. To have the Blinnikov performing Giselle... I can't imagine what tonight's going to be like. THE COUNT It will be the performance of a lifetime. He smiles wanly to the little sycophant. Turns and looks to the stage and something cold flashes in his eyes. THE COUNT I guarantee it. END OF TEASER Act One INT. FANCY CLOTHING STORE - DAY Fred and Cordy are shopping together. The place is wicked fancy -- Cordy's right at home, but Fred not so much. FRED Are you certain this is the right place for us? CORDELIA Well, we could get our outfits at Caveõgirl's House of Burlap, but that's just so last season. The boys are all renting tuxes, we gotta step up. She holds a dress up against Fred. Considers. FRED But aren't we, you know... poor? She puts the dress back, keeps looking. CORDELIA There is an old custom amongst my people. It's called buying a dress, wearing it once, and returning it the next day. It's all about hiding the tags while it's on. FRED Ohhhh! Okay. I'm very excited about tonight. I love ballet. I mean, I haven't seen that much but my family went to the Nutcracker every Christmas and I had my first sexual dream about the Mouse King. (beat) I often could shut up more. CORDELIA It's overrated. FRED The Nutcracker? CORDELIA Shutting up. Face me. She holds up another dress. Nope. FRED Can I ask you a question? CORDELIA I think you guys are perfect for each other. (off her look) I have magic powers, remember? FRED It's not like we've said anything... He's just so sweet, and commanding, and I feel so comfortable aroøund him... I mean, I don't even know if he feels -- CORDELIA He feels. FRED He feels? Feelings? CORDELIA There's definite feelings. We find you the right outfit for tonight, there may be actual feeling. Fred is made of smile. FRED And then we gotta find a dress for you. Something that'll make Angel crazy. CORDELIA Fred, sweetie, Angel IS crazy. FRED Well, I know he'll wanna look his best for you... CORDELIA That's right. The world's champion is gonna spend all day worrying about his outfit. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - ANGEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Angel is looking over his shoulder, standing stiffly, worried. ANGEL Is it gonna be all right? Is there a stain? We see the HOST pop up behind him -- HOST Relax, crumbcake. I got this soda water working overtime. We see now that Host is cleaning a stain on the back of Angel's jacket. HOST (cont'd) Man, that little Connor burps like a champ. Mickey Mantle smacking this bit of stewed apricot into the cheap seats. ANGEL At least he's sleeping. î HOST (finishes) Who wouldn't, that sweet Irish lullaby you crooned, just a hair flat on the bridge but more to the point, Cordelia? ANGEL What about her? HOST I read you while you were singing, you big corn muffin. And I can't say as I blame, I mean what a woman she's become. ANGEL You're not supposed to read me and anyway you read me wrong. HOST Sorry, Strudel, but it's not just when you're singing. There's a little term we had on Pylea, "Kyrumption" -- ANGEL I know it. HOST Okay! When two great heroes come together -- ANGEL There's no coming together. Okay? Everything we've been through, and all anyone wants to talk about -- HOST Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate, it's the stars, kyrumption -- ANGEL Stop saying that! And stop calling me pastries. The Host pauses, gets serious. HOST You're a man of many limitations, Angel. Can't go out into the sun, can't feel the fresh air fill your lungs, can't, uh, achieve a certain level of physical intimacy without òturning apocalyptically evil. But you're a man. You got a heart. It may not keep time but it's in there. And Cordelia is a hell of a lady. If I thought she liked to wear green I'd be elbowing you out of the way. But she's out of my league. She's a champion, Angel. Old school. Besides, we all know you got a thing for ex-cheerleaders. Angel says nothing. Until: ANGEL What have I got to offer her? HOST Do I even have to answer that? You just gotta act, Angel. Gotta let her know what's brewing inside 'cause man, it's real, and you don't wanna miss that shot. ANGEL Lorne, Cordelia, she's.... CORDELIA She's what? She is standing at the door. Stunning doesn't cover it. The boys are agape. CORDELIA (cont'd) I'm waiting... ANGEL I was just saying you're.... not a ballet fan. HOST (aside to Angel) You know, disregard everything I said. I forgot how homely she was, Hnnnnn... ANGEL (to Cordy) You, uh... look... like... CORDELIA (entering) A ballet fan. An aficionado -- a devotee, in facót. Tonight, I've decided we don't have to be our incredibly dreary selves. She fixes Angel's tie absently as she talks. CORDELIA (cont'd) Tonight, we're just a couple of young sophisticates enjoying an evening of classical dance. How does that sound? Angel cannot help but smile. ANGEL That sounds just right. CORDELIA How's our boy? ANGEL Fast asleep. HOST And I'll make sure he stays that way. He so much as peeps, I'll chloroform him. Angel and Cordy throw him a look. HOST (cont'd) New parents. Never with the humor. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - LOBBY - NIGHT Fred is standing in the middle of the room, waiting. We see her in close-up: she is more done-up than usual. GUNN (O.S.) You gotta promise not to laugh. FRED I promise. GUNN (O.S.) It's gotta come from the heart. FRED Will you stop being such a little girl? I promise. Gunn steps out of the office in his tux. He is James Fucking Bond. Born to wear a tux. He looks uncomfortable, but stops when he sees: ANGLE: Fred In her d÷ress. It's very different from Cordy's, but every inch as alluring. She is staring at Gunn, blown away by the look. Then, surprisingly, she laughs. GUNN So this is what your promises are worth. I'm having a lot of trust issues at this time in my life. FRED (stopping) I'm sorry, it's just... My God, you're so pretty! He smiles, the compliment settling on him as softly as the suit. GUNN You know there's not a lot of people could say that to me and live. But the way you look, there's no way I can fight you. FRED Tonight feels... I don't know, kind of magical. Is that stupid? Wesley appears suddenly in frame, coming up behind Fred and draping a coat around her shoulders. He's dressed as well and we are five for five, people, hotties all around. He passes Fred a bit to look at Gunn. WESLEY Not at all. (to Gunn) Finally come out of hiding. GUNN And look at my reward. Wesley turns to look at Fred. WESLEY Yes. Isn't she a vision. Gunn looks up the stairs. GUNN Lotta that going around. æANGLE ON: Angel and Cordy coming down the stairs, arms linked. They practically float. CORDELIA Thank you, no thank you. There will be no visions tonight. ANGEL How can you be sure? CORDELIA I had a vision. He doesn't try to unriddle it, just lets the collective good mood carry him as they head for the front door. As they walk, Cordy whispers in Wesley's ear: CORDELIA (cont'd) The iron is hot. He looks at her and she nods, sagely, sure. He smiles and moves on. EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT We push in, LimoPOV, at the magnificent (good luck, guys) theatre. Well dressed patrons entering. INT. AUDITORIUM/STAGE - NIGHT ANGLE ON: Our gang, getting into their seats. Gunn, Fred and Wes are in the row directly in front of Angel and Cordy. The seats are pretty far back. ANGEL Sorry they're not closer -- getting five seats together was -- WESLEY Don't be silly. Best place. Get the whole panorama from here. CORDELIA Besides, back here we stand less chance of setting off the "Uníder 70" alarm. The lights begin to dim... ANGEL Back in the day, I'd always get box seats... or eat the people who had 'em. CORDELIA Don't let's reminisce. We're here. Enjoy. INT. BOX SEAT, THEATRE - CONTINUING The lights continue to dim as We see the Count settle into place, intent on the stage. ANGLE: THE STAGE As the curtain rises and the dance begins. We hold on the dance for a while, then HARD CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM/STAGE - LATER Cordelia SNORES in foreground, head back, mouth open. Looking as unglamorous as possible. Angel watches the ballet, looks over at her, looks around a bit -- her snoring is audible to others. Finally he adjusts his position, subtly nudging her. Instead of waking up, she just snuggles into his shoulder. Contentedly, he goes back to watching. We pull past Wes and Fred to reveal Gunn, who is just enraptured, watching the Dance almost like it was a great sports event -- he has to keep from cheering. ANGLE: ON STAGE The dance continues. INT.÷ AUDITORIUM/STAGE - LATER Angel is watching, Cordy still on his shoulder. (A little drool, but no way he's changing position.) ANGLE: THE PRIMA BALLERINA We are close on her as she dances. Angel watches, the quiet excitement gradually giving way to something else. Something nagging at him. ANGLE: WESLEY Still glances at Fred. She looks back once, smiles. Wesley turns his attention back to the ballet and we push in on him, slowly, until: INT. STAGE - NIGHT We see the action on stage -- only now it is FRED dancing, alone. She is every inch the delicate ballerina, dancing a graceful, lonely solo. After a minute or so, WESLEY runs on stage, also in full ballet regalia. To say he looks silly is to truth-tell. He prances about like a special-needs gazelle, courting the fair Fred, who is initially hesitant. But then he comes up to her and he's suddenly a lot less silly close up. She turns slowly into his arms, the two of them about to kiss -- INT. AUDITORIUM/STAGE - LATER Wild applauùse brings Wesley out of his reverie. The curtain is closing on act one. Gunn is whistling, clapping -- if he had a big foam rubber "number one" hand, by God, he's be using it. Cordy wakes with a start -- CORDELIA I loved it! ANGEL It's just intermission. He's clearly still puzzling something out. Cordy looks at his jacket. CORDELIA That isn't drool, is it? ANGEL It's okay. Matches the back. Everyone is getting up for intermission. Our gang follows suit. INT. LOBBY OF THEATRE - NIGHT Our gang is keeping away from the biggest crush of the crowd. GUNN I'll say it once and gloat all you want: These guys are tight, and I am tripping out. WESLEY They certainly live up to their reputation. Has the choreography changed much since -- ANGEL No. Nothing's changed. WESLEY Well, it's wonderful that they're able to -- ANGEL No. I mean nothing's changed. These are the same dancers I saw before. FRED That's impossible! We're watching the exact same troupe you saw in 1990? GUNN Uh, I thinôk he said 1890. FRED Oh. Okay, that's much more impossible. ANGEL So, somebody wanna tell me how we're watching a show starring people who should have died sixty years ago? There's a beat, as they all think. CORDELIA Well, it's a puzzler. Are there snacks? BLACK OUT. END OF ACT ONE Act Two INT. LOBBY OF THEATRE - MOMENTS LATER They are discussing possibilities. WESLEY So what are we thinking? Vampires? CORDELIA They're not a deeply tanned bunch... GUNN That would also explain the precision, and the athleticism. I mean, some of those jumps... (off their looks) You know, I was cool before I met y'all. CORDELIA Dancing vampires. Who's not scared? ANGEL (shaking his head) Not it. I'd know. I'd sense it. WESLEY Even all the way back there? (oops) With the... panoramic view... FRED Zombies! Or would they be peeling...? WESLEY Some kind of spell. ANGEL Possibly. I figure we better check it out. FRED Maybe after the show we can head backstage -- ANGEL I was thinking now. ò GUNN Okay, but there might be a clue, you know, in the performance, maybe some of us should... watch... WESLEY (to Angel) You created him, only you can destroy him. Gunn hits the grinning Wesley on the arm. ANGEL You guys go back. I'll snoop. CORDELIA I'm with snoopy. Magic of the ballet not really getting to me. WESLEY How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring? GUNN Oh, that's too cold. The lights flicker -- time to go back. CORDELIA (to Wes) Don't think that's not coming back to haunt you. ANGEL Go. The trio moves back to their seats, Angel and Cordy heading in the other direction. CORDELIA I didn't really snore, did I? ANGEL Of course not. INT. OUTSIDE THE BACKSTAGE ENTRANCE - MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON: A big fat cornfed giant of a SECURITY GUARD, standing in front of a door marked: BACKSTAGE, ABSOLUTELY NO ADMITTANCE. REVERSE ON Cordy and Angel, checking him out at a distance. CORDELIA Check out the zeppelin. ANGEL Awful lot of muscle for a balÝlet company. CORDELIA You want I should distract him? (seductive) Make with the nice nice while you slip by? ANGEL Don't be stupid. She is stung, but before she can reply -- ANGEL (cont'd) I'm THAT guy, and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? That's either a bachelor party, or a scam. CORDELIA What did you just call me? ANGEL I'm sorry. You're not stupid. CORDELIA No, after that. ANGEL (all business) I think I'm gonna have to go with my patented Sudden Burst of Violence. CORDELIA Eh, hold on. I may have an approach that's a little more subtle. SMASH CUT TO: INT. SAME - MOMENTS LATER Cordelia stands in front of the security guard. CORDELIA Say, do you like bribes? SECURITY GUARD (beaming) Do I ever! Cordelia casually holds up a $20. CORDELIA We really wanna go backstage. SECURITY GUARD Okay, see, but that's not so much a bribe as it is a tip. And since I'm not parking your car, there's no way -- WHAM! Angel decks him aîcross the chin. The guy takes the hit and then just turns back and glares at Angel. CORDELIA (counting out more $20s) Oookay... ANGEL (to the guard) And that's just a taste of... you see I really wasn't warmed up. SECURITY GUARD I used to fight pro. And I'd say you're... about to find out... what... He drops. ANGEL OKAY! That's how we do it. They open the door, head into -- INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUING We see the door as Cordelia and Angel step inside -- it's clearly old here, though everything beyond the door is modern. They shut it, looking ahead with a certain degree of wonder. CORDELIA Okay. You saw the building when we drove by -- do you remember it going on forever? ANGLE: Over them down the hallway. In fact, it does go on forever, with many hallways branching off. In addition to being an endless maze, it's very clearly the backstage of a turn-of-the-century theatre, all dark wood and gas lamps, old flyers and random props and scenery scattered about. ANGEL This is õclearly a spell, or a timeflux or something. I don't think we wanna be rushing in here. CORDELIA Let's get the others, talk options. Angel is looking back the way they came. ANGEL Yeah... ANGLE: THE DOOR is gone, and the hallway extends forever in THAT direction as well. ANGEL (cont'd) Works in theory... INT. AUDITORIUM/STAGE - CONTINUOUS The dance continues. Our trio watches, Fred in the middle. INT. BACKSTAGE HALL OUTSIDE DRESSING ROOM - LATER Cordy and Angel turn a corner. ANGEL Okay, there has to be something here besides this maze. CORDELIA And with our luck, it'll be a Minotaur or a giant Ms. PacMan. ANGEL Do you hear that? There is a faint sound. A sobbing, wheezing sound. CORDELIA Someone laughing. ANGEL Or crying? CORDELIA Or both... Okay, officially creeped... ANGEL Look. He indicates a door. It's ajar. They move slowly toward it. He opens it and they enter. INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS They enter, slowly, looking around. It is opulent clutter -- cløearly the dressing room of a turn of the century diva. There is a standing screen for changing, a plush read divan, plus the make-up station, brushes and paints laid out. Cordy and Angel move silently around the room, examining things, touching them -- the energy of the place is very mellow and surreal, and their energy matches it. The room touches them. They speak quietly. ANGEL This is her dressing room. CORDELIA The Prima Ballerina. ANGEL It's unchanged. He runs his hand along the back of the divan. Cordelia sits at the mirror, picks up the hairbrush. CORDELIA She would wait for him here... ANGEL What? Not answering, Cordelia puts the brush back and looks in the mirror. Unformed questions and half-answers playing through her mind. She picks up a long necklace with a tiny cross attached, bejewelled and elegant. ANGEL (cont'd) It's warm... it's very warm. She stands and they are close, looking around. There is a slight sheen of sweat on their faces. CORDELIA I feel it. ANGEL Soømething happened here. CORDELIA Angel. ANGEL Yes. CORDELIA I want you to undress me. ANGEL (struggling) You what CORDELIA It's just another costume. I want you to see who I really am. You're the only one who can. ANGEL I... (fighting it) This isn't us. Cordelia, we're... acting this out. Someone is -- CORDELIA (coming out of it) Whoah. ANGEL The energy of this room, it's... CORDELIA Did I actually just tell you to undress me? He falls right back into it, getting closer to her. ANGEL Is that what you want? CORDELIA (slipping) Please, I -- ANGEL You want me to make love to you right here? CORDELIA You know I do. Their hands have begun roaming, touching hair, shoulders, backs... their faces inches apart. ANGEL But you're afraid. CORDELIA What if he finds us? ANGEL I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything. He pulls her close. They're gonna kiss. Her lips so close to his... CORDELIA (whispers) I'm only alive... when you're inside me... And kiss they do. Big time. EúND OF ACT TWO Act Three INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING Well, they're still kissing. It's pretty heated, I must say. Cordelia brings her hand to his cheek -- the hand with the little cross dangling. It swings against his cheek and he pulls away briefly, regaining some of his composure, as does she. ANGEL Cordelia... CORDELIA Yes... ANGEL I'm sorry. CORDELIA No... We need to be out of here. ANGEL Yes. They move close again, about to kiss -- CORDELIA This isn't out of here. ANGEL No. Right. They force themselves to the door, always managing to keep in close contact. When they reach it, he is behind her and he moves his arm around her to get the door, she arches back into him, one arm up to cup the back of his head... CORDELIA (pure lust) Open the damn door... ANGEL Kinda hard... CORDELIA Kinda noticed... He does open it, and they slip out into -- INT. BACKSTAGE HALL OUTSIDE DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING They come out actually catching their breath. Shut the door behind them. ô CORDELIA Whoah. ANGEL That's a fair assessment. CORDELIA What the hell is that place? ANGEL There's spirits in there. Energy, trapped in time... took us over. CORDELIA Yee scary. Good thing it wears off right away. Wide on Angel as he takes off his jacket and casually holds it in front of his pants. ANGEL Yeah. Good thing. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - ANGEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT We see Connor being laid into the crib, all sleepy, by two green hands. The Host lays him down, singing softly the classic lullaby: HOST Go to sleep/ lullaby/ you've been fed and you're sleepy/ you'll be with/ Uncle Lorne/ who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet/ and is certainly/ not thinking/ of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer... INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS We are in the Steadicam POV of an unknown presence as it enters the lobby, looking around and heading up the stairs. (The score should continue in lullaby mode, but, needless to say, creepy.) ò INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - ANGEL'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Host turns, senses alerted. HOST You just sleep on, little nipper. Uncle Lorne's gonna make sure we're alone. He quietly crosses the room, picking up a battle axe on the way. Looks back at the crib. HOST (cont'd) Won't be gone a moment... As he is speaking, the door is opening behind him. He turns -- We REVERSE over the dark figure that enters, as Host takes a step back, eyes wide. HOST (cont'd) Oh my God. INT. BACKSTAGE HALL OUTSIDE DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING Angel and Cordy are starting down the hall. CORDELIA You sure this is the way? ANGEL I'm sure it's "a" way... Place is a maze, I'm just hoping we'll find another room that -- CORDELIA Dammit. She has stopped. He turns to her. ANGEL What. CORDELIA I said something. Back in that room, something important. Do you remember? ANGEL (uncomfy) Uh... you're only alive when I'm -- CORDELIA Not that. ANGEL No. Of course. I was just... Oh! Hey! I said you were afraiÞd. CORDELIA And I said "what if he finds us." ANGEL She had a secret lover. CORDELIA They were afraid of someone. And I'll bet you anything that someone is the reason we're stuck here. (frustrated) We left too soon. ANGEL We -- who? The room? CORDELIA It's a clue! Those spirits, or energy or whatever, are still in there so we can find out what happened! We have to go back in. ANGEL I'm marvelling at the wrongness of that idea. CORDELIA You wanna wander around backstage like Spinal Tap for the next... ever? ANGEL I'm sure there's other rooms that -- CORDELIA All we have to do is play the scene out. Say what they have to say, and get out before... before I give you a happy. ANGEL What if there is no more talking in that scene? Look, I've been possessed by the spirits of old lovers before, it never goes well. CORDELIA I've got my little cross, if things get out of hand... Hey, it's awkward, but it's not us, so as long as nothing is removed or inserted, it'sµ all forgotten. ANGEL It is us, Cordelia. You and me. And kissing you, it's... He's close to a confession here. ANGEL (cont'd) It's not something I can just -- CORDELIA Oh come on. It's not that horrible. She turns to go back, totally missing his point. CORDELIA (cont'd) Up to his ass in demon gore, fine, but ask him to mack on a hottie and he wigs. My champion, ladies and gentlemen. INT. AUDITORIUM/STAGE - NIGHT The dance continues. Gunn, Fred and Wesley all watch intently. ANGLE: WESLEY'S HAND Is inching toward Fred's, about to slide over it, Wesley completely unaware that -- ANGLE: GUNN'S HAND Is doing the exact same thing on the opposite side. It's a turtle race as both boys try to make the subtle move. Fred aware of neither. And the winner is: FRED Angel! Hands withdraw. GUNN Huh? WESLEY What? FRED And Cordy! They've been gone way too long. WESLEY You're right. Come on. They start shuffling out. × GUNN But... we're gonna miss the end... INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING Angel and Cordy are in, they're looking about themselves uncomfortably... ANGEL Anything coming? CORDELIA Uhhh... okay. (claps her hands, motivation time) Let's take it from the middle. (moves into position) I want you... undress me. She is completely uninspired and wooden, rushing through it, and he is as well. ANGEL You want me to have sex now with you here? CORDELIA Yes! But I'm scared. ANGEL But you're afraid. CORDELIA And I'm afraid. What if we, he finds us!? ANGEL He who? (off her look) Um, but I'm not afraid of anything. He takes her stiffly in his arms. CORDELIA (mumbles) Only good inside blah blah blah -- KISS! Which is a microsmack, both mouths closed, not exactly act break material. Both wait for a moment -- anything? ANGEL (looking around) Maybe it only works the one time, if the energy is -- Cordy kisses the living shit out of him. INT. OUTSIDE THE BACKSTAGèE ENTRANCE - CONTINUING Wesley, Fred and Gunn approach the doorway. The security guard is still out cold. As they step over him... GUNN At least Angel left us a trail... ANGLE: OVER TWO FIGURES IN BLACK to the group, a distance away. A moment, and the figures take off. INT. BOX SEAT, THEATRE - MOMENTS LATER The Count is watching the show. The figures appear by him -- again, we see nothing much of them but black. There is whispering, and the Count's face darkens. THE COUNT Deal with them. I can't be bothered right now. ANGLE: The Count's POV of the stage: as the dance continues. INT. DRESSING ROOM - LATER Cordy comes swiftly down onto the divan, Angel on top of her. His tie is undone, his shirt open. They are kissing, hands everywhere. He lowers himself, kissing her neck, her collarbone... CORDELIA This is wrong... ANGEL Hush... CORDELIA You don't know him. He has power. Angel looks her right in the eye. ANGEL The power to do this? We don't see exactly what he'òs referring to, but she breathes in sharply, eyes squeezing shut for an instant. But there is still fear in them as she breathlessly continues... CORDELIA I'm not... Stefan, his power is unnatural. He could -- ANGEL What. Kill us? CORDELIA Worse. ANGEL Kurskov owns the company. He doesn't own you. CORDELIA He doesn't know that. (bitterly) He thinks I'm his. That I dance for him. He's nothing but a deluded fan... He thinks I love him. ANGEL Come away with me. Now. Tonight. We'll disappear. Even HE won't find us. CORDELIA I... Stephan, everything I've worked for is here... ANGEL You can still dance. CORDELIA Can I? I don't... Not yet. Maybe when we're... ANGEL (terse) Don't. Don't make promises. She takes his head, brings it to her bosom, overcome, near tears. CORDELIA Help me... help me be not afraid... INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - CONTINUING Wes, Fred and Gunn are making their cautious way down a corridor. GUNN This is very not right. FRED Do you hear -- A shadow movùes across them -- they look, but no one is there. WESLEY There's something... Faintly, they can hear a woman moaning and crying out. WESLEY (cont'd) Someone's in pain. Fred listens harder. A rising, breathy moan. FRED Either that, or someone's in fun. INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING We're tight on Cordy as Angel slips the straps of her dress over her shoulders -- -- tight on her stomach as the dress is slipped down, Angel kissing her bare belly -- --tight on her face, struggling, succumbing -- CORDELIA No... oh no... She looks over at the doorway -- CORDELIA (cont'd) Oh no! CLOSE ON ANGEL as he sits up, looking as well, and is TACKLED over the back of the divan by a FIGURE in black. They go flying into a heap in the corner, the figure punching Angel hard while he's on the ground. ANGLE: From behind the divan, we see Cordy pop up, no visible dress but the back of the divan hiding anything truly relevant. She's harried -- herself again. Watches the figure hit Angel -- CORDELIA ü(cont'd) Oh, thank god. Angel snaps back from a blow, grabs the guy on top of him and pushes him back, getting his first good look at him: His face is that of a comedy mask, forever grinning. Angel takes a moment to register the creepiness, then hits the guy so hard he goes flying onto his back, off of Angel -- Cordy is pulling up her straps, dressed again -- CORDELIA (cont'd) Okay, good; so they were probably interrupted by this Count Kurskov or his lackeys, right? So we're done with the -- As she's saying this, the OTHER FIGURE in black, with the face of pure tragedy, is emerging behind her. Angel runs toward her -- CORDELIA (cont'd) (ducking) We're done! -- and leaps over the couch, tackling Tragedy. Cordy looks around at the new action -- as Comedy rises behind her and pulls a sword and dagger. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING Fred, Wes and Gunn here nearby crashing -- GUNN Now that sounds less like fun -- An identical Tragedy comes up and STABS him in the back -- GUNN (cøont'd) Gahh! FRED Charles! BLACK OUT. END OF ACT THREE Act Four INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING Gunn slams his elbow into Tragedy's face, sending him back as Wes spins to see Comedy coming from the other side, both blades drawn. WESLEY Fred, stay between us. GUNN I need to... He drops, grimacing. Fred rushes to him -- sees Tragedy coming, grabs a prop and swings it mightily into his face, knocking him back. His sword and dagger fly free and she grabs the sword-- FRED Wesley! And throws it to Wes, who catches it handily and begins fencing with Comedy, driving him back. He calls out to Fred: WESLEY Can you handle the other? Looks back briefly to see Fred beating the guy to a pulp with her big prop. Turns back to Comedy. WESLEY (cont'd) Well then. Just us. And he continues driving him back, into the hall nearby. INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUING Cordy is trying to get away from Comedy, knocking the screen over onto him, casting about for a weapon -- CORDELIA Little help..Ü. ANGLE: ANGEL as he has Tragedy on the ground, is forcing down his sword hand -- Tragedy stabs him in the chest -- ANGEL Thank you -- He rears back, knife in his chest, both hands now free to grab the sword, flip it into his hand, pull the knife free and while stabbing Tragedy in the heart throwing the knife without even looking -- -- whip pan -- THWUNK! Right in the throat of Comedy. Cordy comes to Angel. ANGEL (cont'd) You all right? CORDELIA Yeah. We gotta move. ANGEL You think they're not dead? CORDELIA You just looked really hot doing that. ANGEL (getting it) Oh. CORDELIA Yeah. ANGEL Run. They head for the door. INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - CONTINUING Wesley still drives Comedy back in fierce battle. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING Gunn YELLS in pain as Fred pulls at his shirt, looking at his wound. She is pale and frantic. It's kind bloody. FRED Oh god Oh god -- GUNN It's not -- OW! It's not that deep. It didn't go that deep.æ FRED Charles, there's blood... GUNN There usually is. I been cut worse than this. I just need to wrap it -- FRED Of course -- She grabs a piece of fabric, RIPS off a piece -- INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - CONTINUING Wesley finally knocks aside the dagger and rapier and DRIVES his sword through Comedy's chest, coming up right in his face. WESLEY Who's laughing now? Comedy continues to giggle as he fades... WESLEY (cont'd) Well, you, but I still win. Wesley yanks his sword free and Comedy drops. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING Fred has tied the fabric around Gunn's waist. GUNN That's good. Should hold. He sees how flustered and pale she is. GUNN (cont'd) You okay? You hurt? FRED I'm fine, I just thought -- I'm sorry, I shouldn't fall apart like this... GUNN (smiles) Scared I'm gonna die on you? FRED Charles, don't even -- GUNN All I ask is... one last kiss... as the light is dimming... FRED (upset) You think that's funny? GUNN It's just a scraËtch! FRED But I thought it was... I... She's near tears. He stops joking. Understands the depth of her feeling. GUNN Hey. Heyyy.... They are close enough for him to put his hands on her arms. He reaches up to her hair, strokes it. They speak more softly, their faces close. GUNN (cont'd) You really that worried about me? FRED Probably think I'm an idiot. GUNN I think if you care that much... the wound is definitely deep. FRED (smiles softly) The light is dimming? GUNN And all I ask... is one... last... Kiss. Long, soft, sweet as spun sugar. We see the two of them, in tableau, alone in the room, kissing each other for the first time. PULL BACK to reveal, at right of frame, the body of Wesley as he silently has arrived on scene. At left of frame there is a smooth surface of some kind, a prop door or something, in which we see Wesley's face reflected. His face. The weight on him. He silently backs out of the room. INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOãR - CONTINUING Wesley walks a few steps away -- and drops to his knees. Looks up, sudden rage filling his expression. ANGLE: COMEDY As his eyes pop back open.. INT. STAGE - CONTINUING The dance. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - LATER Angel and Cordy rush in -- from a different entrance. Fred is helping Gunn up. They are both a little giddy, though still serious. ANGEL You guys all right? FRED Charles got stabbed. GUNN Couple of stitches worth. ANGEL (sees Tragedy) Same guys that attacked us. FRED Uh, Cordy? Your, uh, tag is showing. ANGLE: THE PRICE TAG sticks out the back of Cordy's dress. Fred slips it in. GUNN Any idea where we are, or what the Hell? ANGEL Yeah. Cordy and I hit a kind of mystical hot spot. In one of the dressing rooms. CORDELIA Seems like the Prima Ballerina had a lover back in the day, and there was a Count Kurskov who owned the company. I guess he had a thing for the girl, and they were mightily afraid of him. ANGEL He had power oçf some kind... WESLEY He's a Wizard. He enters, betraying nothing of his pain but totally serious. WESLEY (cont'd) He was obsessed with the girl. When he found her with the other man, he went insane with jealous rage. Pulled her out of time, out of any reality beyond his theatre, his company. He swore she would dance for him forever. FRED How did you -- WESLEY I hit a hot spot, too. GUNN And now we're stuck here? WESLEY Well... this kind of temporal shift can't just exist, it has to be maintained. Takes power and concentration. If we can overload him somehow, we might be able to slip back to the real world. GUNN Man with a plan. Wesley stares at Gunn a moment, says nothing. ANGEL Great. So how do we overload him? WESLEY Well, I imagine that requires some energy... He indicates the side of the room, where Tragedy has risen again and is shaking, splitting... and becoming two Tragedys. Before they can get their bearings, Angel steps up and grabs them both in separaîte headlocks, jerking his arms up and snapping their necks. They drop to the ground -- and begin to shake as they did before. Wesley looks down the corridor: ANGLE: DOWN THE CORRIDOR come two Comedies. FRED The more we kill, the more he makes. CORDELIA Look! ANGLE: A WALL which is old, briefly shimmers and becomes modern. Then back. WESLEY And that's draining his energy. Angel, you try to find a way towards the stage. The Count will be watching. ANGEL I bet he has a box... WESLEY Find his power source and destroy it. We'll do our best to loosen his hold. GUNN By making more monsters. Man with a frightening plan. WESLEY Angel, go. More are approaching. The gang weapons up while Angel takes off, pausing to roundhouse a Comedy in the face. CORDELIA Back here. They can't surround us. The group heads for a corner slightly boxed in with scenery. Wesley turns to Fred and Gunn. WESLEY You two. (a beat) Stay close together. He turns back to the approaching group, now five stÚrong. WESLEY (cont'd) I'll take point. CORDELIA Hope you're in a killin' mood. WESLEY I should do all right. And he knocks a sword aside and STABS -- INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - CONTINUING Angel comes around a corner, looks back -- not sure where he is. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING A Comedy goes flying against a wall, head cracking. INT. BACKSTAGE CORRIDOR - CONTINUING Angel sees a wall shimmer -- beyond it is the stage, seen from behind. Without hesitating he dives through the 'hole', which closes back up right after. INT. WINGS/STAGE - CONTINUING Angel is in the corner. He sees: ANGLE: THE PERFORMERS on stage, still dancing. Some of them leap off the stage and as they do they simply disappear, reappearing as they re-enter the scene. Angel's eye is drawn to the front of the wings, where there is one person standing quietly. It is the Prima Ballerina, waiting for her cue. ANGEL Hello... THE DANCER (startled) Who are you? There's no âone... you're new. ANGEL I'm pretty old, actually. I've seen you dance. As they speak, she barely turns to him, always keeping ready to go back on. THE DANCER Everyone sees me. ANGEL It was Giselle then as well. THE DANCER Always. ANGEL I know what's happening. Count Kurskov, he's punishing you. He follows her look to see: ANGLE: THE COUNT in his box on the other side of the stage. THE DANCER He made me. He owns me. When I dance, it's only for him. ANGEL Do you believe that? THE DANCER It really doesn't matter. I'll dance, I'll wait here, then I'll dance again. That's all. ANGEL A hundred years, doing the same piece every night... is that enough? What about Stefan? The name affects her. THE DANCER I waited too long. I should have gone when he asked me, should have disappeared. But I wanted this, this dance, this... I hesitated and I lost everything that mattered. Now all I do is wait. ANGEL You dance... She takes a moment before explaining: THE DANCEëR There's a section in the first act, during the courtship dance, where my foot slips. My ankle is turned, and I don't quite hold... every time. He doesn't notice. He doesn't even know ballet that well. But always, at that same moment, I slip. Finally, she turns to him. THE DANCER (cont'd) It isn't just the same ballet. It's the same performance. I don't dance. I echo. She turns back to the stage. THE DANCER (cont'd) Please... can you make it stop? INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING A quick shot of our gang BESIEGED by Comedies and Tragedies, fighting heroically. WESLEY It's working! GUNN Yeah, there's dozens of 'em. Yay us. WESLEY It's gotta be weakening his hold. INT. WINGS/STAGE - CONTINUING Angel puts his hand out on the stage but it disappears. He pulls it back. Looks up at The Count, at the Dancer. ANGEL I can help you. But you have to do something. THE DANCER What? ANGEL You have to change the ending. Dance something new. THE DANCER I can't... Angel ñsees: ANGLE: A WALL of ropes and old-fashioned levers becomes a modern wall with electric equipment. Then back. ANGEL He doesn't control all this. He's losing it. But you have to take the stage. He comes closer to her. ANGEL (cont'd) It's not too late. You can change things. She looks at him in fear -- then rushes on stage. She dances toward a waiting gentleman -- then stops, changes the choreography, moves away. The man simply fades into nothingness. ANGLE: IN THE BOX The Count rises, freaking. ON STAGE, the Dancer does the same thing, making another phantom dancer fade away. Angel sticks his hand on stage. It doesn't disappear. INT. LARGE BACKSTAGE SPACE - CONTINUING As Wesley viciously kills yet another Comedy -- INT. BOX SEAT, THEATRE - CONTINUING As The Count is sweating, too much to control... ANGLE: ON STAGE runs Angel, crossing and LEAPING into the box. ANGEL Hey, where's your power center? THE COUNT How dare you -- ANGEL I'll guess. He punches The Countø right in his bejewelled medal, shattering the stone and staggering The Count as a flash of light bursts momentarily from the broken jewel. Angel looks on stage, where the Dancer is alone. She looks at him gratefully, then lays herself out in a graceful bow, fading as she does. ANGLE: The audience. Confusedly, they slowly begin to applaud. INT. ACTUAL MODERN BACKSTAGE - CONTINUING Our gang finds themselves alone. A beat, as they look around... INT. BOX SEAT, THEATRE - CONTINUING The Count is nearly having a heart attack, clutching his chest. THE COUNT You've no right... ANGEL Save it. THE COUNT She was... she was my love... she danced.... for me... ANGEL Yeah. You love her that much? HE PUNCHES him again, sending sprawling into his seat, where he labors for breath... ANGEL (cont'd) Start a website. Angel walks disgustedly away. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - OFFICE - NIGHT The gang has returned. Wes is sewing up Gunn, who is being as manly as possible. Fred is helping. WESLEY You s...hould clean it. Do you need anything for the pain? GUNN (looking at Fred) What pain? They share a smile that Wesley does not comment on. Gunn heads to the bathroom. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - LOBBY - CONTINUING Angel and Cordy are trying not to be awkward with each other. Cordy is examining her dress. CORDELIA You think I can still return it? 'cause otherwise we're gonna have to take a lot more cases. ANGEL Cordy, um... CORDELIA You know, we should probably just not talk about our little adventure. Anything that might have been seen, anything that might have been, oh, perky -- ANGEL I just wanna pretend it never happened. CORDELIA Exactly. ANGEL Wipe it from my memory. CORDELIA (complete reversal) Well, what, was it like disgusting? ANGEL No, I... I would just want, if we were to... I'd want it to be, um, new. Start at the beginning. CORDELIA Lost me in the middle. ANwGEL Cordy, we've been working together a long time, and... I mean you've become... a truly extraordinary woman. I know we haven't always gotten along, but I really think we... you know we... A radiant smile sweeps onto her face. CORDELIA Groo... ANGEL Yes, we grew, uh, closer together, and I was -- She is moving toward him, past him, he turns to see her pick up speed and throw herself into the arms of CORDELIA GROO! It is in fact the GROOSALUGG, the Brave and Undefeated. Fred and Wes emerge as he sweeps Cordy up, spinning her and setting her back down, joy on his face. GROOSALUGG Princess. CORDELIA Oh my God. I can't believe it's you. GROOSALUGG I feared you'd forget who I was. CORDELIA Remind me. And they kiss. Angel watches, Host coming next to him. Host is well aware of Angel's feelings. HOST Just showed up. Apparently, once everyone on Pylea got thewir freedom, political situation got kind of sketchy. The Groosalugg here got deposed -- they set up some kind of people's republic. (weakly) So he came looking for his... true love... ANGEL Well, that's... that's good for her. HOST Yeah. ANGEL I think I'll check on Connor. HOST He's sleeping -- But Angel has already left. ANGLE: FRED AND WES As they watch Cordy and Groo whisper to each other. Fred looks pleased for her but concerned. FRED Well, that's a surprise. I thought for sure she was meant to be with Angel. I guess you can never predict those things. (turning back) You know? Wesley looks at her. INT. STAGE - NIGHT And we see, briefly, Fred dancing, twirling around, graceful, beautiful. INT. ANGEL'S HOTEL - LOBBY - CONTINUING WESLEY No. I guess you never can. He smiles politely. Looks away. Looks back. We hold on him. BLACK OUT. THE END