Guise Will Be Guise

Part 1

(September 13, 2000)

Written by: Jane Espenson

Teaser

EXT. WOLFRAM AND HART - DAY

To establish, as...

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - BASEMENT RECORDS AREA - DAY

A LAWYER exits the records room, approaches the elevator. Nods to UNIFORMED SECURITY GUARD as he moves to the elevator, the doors close. We STAY with the Security Guard as he checks the area, moves off... all's quiet, then:

A FLOOR PANEL opens and ANGEL and GUNN emerge from the bowels of the building, both dressed inconspicuously... that is to say, not in the street long coats but merely casually.

Angel suddenly hesitates and Gunn almost runs into him. If one looked closely, one might notice that Angel looks a little unshaven and ragged. Angel notes two LAWYER-LIKE FIGURES, male and female, coming around a corner.

ANGEL
(to Gunn)
Don't make eye contact. Keep going.

Angel moves towards the elevator. DING! The doors open.

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS

Angel and Gunn step onto the elevator. Angel hits a button. The doors start to close -- but before they can, a briefcase is wedged between the doors. The doors open, revealing the two lawyers -- WESLEY and CORDELIA. Angel and Gunn react as they step into the car.

ANGEL
What are you two doing here?

CORDELIA
Um, I'm thinking risking our lives
to save yours --

She hits the "door open" button. The doors open.

GUNN
How'd you get in?

WESLEY
We used the door.

Angel hits the "up" button. The doors close.

GUNN
And they just let you in?

Cordy slides on fashionable women's glasses --

CORDELIA
Hello. Lawyer.

She hits the "open" button again. Doors open.

CORDELIA
You're not going up there --

Angel hits the "up" button. The doors start to close.

ANGEL
No, no. I need to do this. I have to
find her... where they have her...

Cordy hits the open-doors button. The doors open...

CORDELIA
Still with the Darla of it?

WESLEY
(to Gunn)
Did you encourage this?

GUNN
I'm just along for the ride.

Angel hits the up button. Cordy hits the open doors button.

CORDELIA
Gonna be a pretty short ride.
They have vampire detectors!

GUNN
We know. It's okay. He's got a plan.

WESLEY
A plan?

As Angel counter punches "up". Doors start to close.

ANGEL
Yes. I get to the offices
before they stop me.

GUNN
See?
(does a take)
What? That was the plan?
Walking real quick was the "plan"?

Cordy hits open. Angel hits up. Doors close.

CORDELIA
Angel, this is crazy. Listen to
yourself. You're all insane and
angry and... insane! You need help!

ANGEL
I'm not insane and I'm not angry.

The doors are fully closed. Cordy, pissed, goes to hit the button again. It opens -- this time revealing the SECURITY GUARD, who's got the mic on his collar to his mouth, having just spoken to someone. Seeing the intruders, he raises his nightstick... clicks the button on the bottom and the STAKE snaps out of the tip.

Angel lunges at him, strips the nightstick from his hand and SKEWERS THE GUARD THROUGH THE FOOT... the tip of the stick wedges in the elevator door tracks. Wesley and Cordy flinch.

WESLEY
Euugh.

Even Gunn looks away.

GUNN
Man, that's nasty.

ANGEL
Um. Maybe I'm a little angry.

END OF TEASER.

Act One

INT. KARAOKE BAR - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Two JAPANESE BUSINESSMEN are on stage, staging a pretty manly attack on "I Got You, Babe." A few DEMONS watch impatiently from the audience.

Angel sits opposite the HOST.

HOST
I thought maybe I'd watched you walk
away for the last time. You doing okay?

ANGEL
(weakly)
Yes.

HOST
Once more with less feeling.

ANGEL
I guess, I'm a little... rocky.

HOST
Hmm. You're Rocky and Rocky II and half
of the one with Mister T. Tell me about it.

ANGEL
(building frustration)
I just... I feel this... And I have
to do something, like if I don't
let it out I'll explode, and then
when I do something... it feels...
I think, maybe this is it. Maybe...

Angel lets his head hang.

ANGEL
(so humbled)
I'll sing if I have to.

OVER AT A TABLE

Wesley, Cordy and Gunn share a table. Gunn is looking around.

GUNN
Okay. What I want to know is...

He reacts as a HORNED DEMON leans toward the candle at another table to light his cigarette.

GUNN
...Is how'd I live in L.A. my whole
life and never knew this weird-ass
stuff was going on?

CORDELIA
Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think.

WESLEY
The Host, the fellow Angel is talking to?
He helps demons, reads their souls,
senses their futures...

CORDELIA
But he can only do it when they sing Karaoke.

GUNN
'kay, now you're just having fun with
the new guy.

WESLEY
No, it's true. Many demon rituals
appear bizarre to us, due to their
very demonogenesis, but they serve
the participants well. We've seen
Angel helped before by this very--

GUNN
Wait. Are you saying... Is he gonna sing?
Oh God, is Angel gonna sing?

ANGEL AND THE HOST

The Host is writing on a small notepad like a doctor writing a prescription.

HOST
You don't have to sing. A break for you,
a break fro me, a break for Mr. Manilow.

ANGEL
(relief)
Okay. If you're sure.

HOST
Poor Angelito. Here.

He tears off the top sheet, hands it to Angel.

ANGEL
What's this?

HOST
An address in Ojai. A friend of mine,
even though, does he ever call? Does
he ever write? Good guy, though. You
ever hear of the T'ish Magev?

A human young man, RAMONE, hands the host a drink.

HOST
Thank you, Ramone. I was just
thinking I'd rather be drinking.
(to Angel)
He's a treasure.

ANGEL
The T'ish Magev... he's like...
a swami, sort of, right? Very powerful...
(realizes)
This is his address?

HOST
I'm sending you to him. You need
more than I can do for you. This guy...
he'll shock your chakras, fillet your
soul... whatever you need. Go to him.

The Host moves off. "I Got You, Babe" is just winding down.

HOST
(calling)
Lovely! That was Cher-riffic, boys!

Angel heads over to Wesley, Gunn and Cordy. Wesley is leaning over to a neighboring table, deep in conversation with a (human) WOMAN there.

ANGEL
We're going. I don't have to sing.

CORDELIA
Oh thank God...
(saving it)
For your sake, 'cause you don't
like to do that.

Wesley is in mid-explanation to the woman who listens intently.

WESLEY
(to the woman)
...might seem bizarre due to their
very demonogenesis, by which I mean
that they originate in a culture that
stands outside and yet--

Cordelia pulls Wesley away from the woman and the group heads for the door.

WESLEY
(to Cordelia)
I was having a conversation!

ANGEL
Wes, that was a Tarbo demon who was
about a minute away from plunging an
ovipositor into your navel and spitting
a larva into your colon.

WESLEY
Oh. Heading home, are we?

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT ( NIGHT 1)

Wesley and Cordelia in Angel's office. Cordelia is tidying up as Wesley looks on.

WESLEY
How long do you think he'll be gone?

CORDELIA
You mean is it long enough
to go through his stuff?

WESLEY
No!

CORDELIA
Well, it's a haul up to Ojai, so, yeah.

WESLEY
Oh, very good then.

Wesley looks through some of Angel's papers.

CORDELIA
I figure he'll be back pretty quick, though.
I mean, this swami guy sounds kinda
magic, he can probably just do a spell,
zap this obsession out of Angel's head.

WESLEY
Intriguing notion. Psychiatry
through magic. Instant cures
for phobias, compulsions,
identity crises--

CORDELIA
Hey, look at me, I'm Angel!

Cordelia is sitting behind Angel's desk. She spins in his chair.

WESLEY
He doesn't generally spin that much.

She stops spinning.

CORDELIA
Right, right. This is Angel:

She puts her head on her hand. Sighs.

CORDELIA
Oh, no. I can't do anything fun
tonight. I have to count my past
sins and then alphabetize them.
Oh, by the way, I'm thinking about
snapping completely, maybe on Friday.

Wesley holds up a paper from Angel's desk.

WESLEY
Say, look at this. Over and over,
"All Work and No Play Makes
Angel a Dull Boy."
(off Cordy's look)
I'm joking.

CORDELIA
You know, I love Angel and
everything, but right now, I'm
so glad he's headed the other way.

EXT. COAST HIGHWAY - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel speeds through the night in his convertible. The ocean shines behind him.

Perhaps there is a flashy/cutty transition here to:

EXT./INT. LAKE CABIN - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel stands at the door of a rustic lake-side cabin. He knocks. The door is answered by the T'ISH MAGEV. He's wiping his hands on a dish-towel. He's not at all what we'd expect -- burly human guy. Think Mike Starr. Angel is a little thrown by his appearance.

T'ISH MAGEV
Yeah?

ANGEL
I'm looking for the T'ish Magev -- ?

T'ISH MAGEV
Well, you found him.

ANGEL
Really?

The Magev darkens a little, clearly used to this reaction.

T'ISH MAGEV
I'm a swami. I'll tell the
occasional instructional
parable, but I never out-
and-out lie.
(then)
You the vampire with a soul?

ANGEL
Yeah...

A beat as they scrutinize each other... finally:

T'ISH MAGEV
Well? You in or out?
You're letting in the bugs.

INT. HOTEL OFFICE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

It's late. Cordelia is alone, closing up the office, turning off the coffee-maker, computer monitors, etc.

Suddenly, Cordelia is GRABBED FROM BEHIND by a thug we'll get to know as BENNY. He has an arm around her neck. He has the well-dressed muscled look of a Mafia enforcer.

BENNY
Where's Angel?

CORDELIA
He's... he's not here!

BENNY
You're lying. Get me Angel

CORDELIA
I can't! Let go!

BENNY lets go of Cordelia

CORDELIA
'bout time you listened to--

Benny pulls a gun from a shoulder holster

6 THRU 9 OMITTED

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Wesley walks across the lobby toward the office. He hears:

BENNY
My boss needs your boss. I can't go
without Angel. Get him now or I blow
your head off. Now.

CORDELIA
I... I can't!

WESLEY backs away with urgency.

INT. HOTEL - CONTINUING

Cordy is really scared now.

CORDELIA
I don't know where he is, I swear.

BENNY
That's too bad.

CORDELIA
Wait... wait...

Close on Benny's trigger finger. Things look bad.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

In a cool Steadicam shot, seen from behind, a tall figure in Angel's long coat steps quickly toward the office.

INT. HOTEL OFFICE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Cordy is trembling with fright, gun near hear head. Then, suddenly, a dark figure is there in the doorway. Low-angle hero shot of... Wesley, wearing Angel's coat.

WESLEY
I'm Angel. You're looking for me?

END OF ACT ONE

Act Two

EXT. LAKE CABIN - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

To re-establish with Angel's parked convertible outside...

INT. LAKE CABIN - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel sits across from the T'ish Magev. They just stare at each other. Angel's discomfort is palpable... finally:

T'ISH MAGEV
Nice ride.

ANGEL
Sorry?

T'ISH MAGEV
The car. Very slick.

ANGELY
Thanks.

T'ISH MAGEV
What kind of mileage you get in that thing?

ANGEL
I don't know... 12 in the city, maybe.

The T'ish nods, considers that.

T'ISH MAGEV
Gas hog. Still, probably a chick
magnet, right?

ANGEL
What? No.

The T'ish Magev shrugs, dubious.

T'ISH MAGEV
If you say so.

Angel's flustered for a beat, then --

ANGEL
I thought we were going to talk
about my problems?

T'ISH MAGEV
That car is your problem, pal.
It says everything about you.

ANGEL
The car?

T'ISH MAGEV
Yes, the car. You live in LA.
It's all about the car you drive.

ANGEL
I really don't think...

T'ISH MAGEV
Vampire living in a city known for
its sun, driving a convertible...
Why do you hate yourself?

ANGEL
I don't... I got a deal.

T'ISH MAGEV
You got a deal. Why not a
personalized license plate
that says "irony?"

ANGEL
The top goes up --

T'ISH MAGEV
Appearance, very important to you.

ANGEL
That's not true...

T'ISH MAGEV
Sure it is. I could tell the moment
I opened the door. You were thinking
to yourself, "This guy's a swami?
Doesn't look like a swami."

ANGEL
Well...

T'ISH MAGEV
Right. Appearances. So important
that you're willing to put your eternal
life at risk everytime you hop into
that thing, top up or not.

ANGEL
(muttering)
It's just a car...

T'ISH MAGEV
Uh-huh. So why all the layers?
All the black? You know it's been
like eighty degrees in the shade, lately --

ANGEL
No reason... I don't really have a
body temperature, so...

T'ISH MAGEV
So it's for the look.

A beat. Trapped by that one.

ANGEL
No. It's just... this way I don't
have to worry about matching.
I don't actually have a reflection, so...

T'ISH MAGEV
Sure you do.

ANGEL
I do?

T'ISH MAGEV
You're reflected in the people around
you. The way they see you.
(then)
What do you think they see?

Off Angel, considering that...

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Cordelia HAS A GUN pointed somewhere near but not exactly at her head. Wesley stands in the doorway. Benny turns the gun on Wesley. Wesley blanches, barely keeps it together.

WESLEY
That, that, that won't kill me.

CORDELIA
Yes yes yes yes. That's right.
Angel. Angel here. Is a vampire!

Benny slowly puts the gun back into the holster.

BENNY
Fine. Let's go.

WESLEY
I'm not going with you. If you want
my services, hire them like a reasonable
non-gun-having person.

Benny heads for the door.

BENNY
Follow me.

WESLEY
You just expect me to follow you?
I don't see why I should... you know
that gun won't kill me.

BENNY
(indicating Cordy)
Yeah? And what would it do to her?
Come on.

WESLEY
Yes, well... all right. But I shan't
be cooperative.

CORDELIA
W...Angel! This is crazy!
I'm coming too!

BENNY
No, I really think you won't.

WESLEY
I'll be all right, Cordelia. I'll
meet this man's boss and we'll
get it all squared away.

As Benny and Wesley exit, some of Wesley's bravado evaporates:

WESLEY
(as they exit)
So, so, so I haven't met your
boss before, correct?

EXT./INT. MANSION - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Imposing fancy house. Robed guards patrol. Benny walks in first and Wesley follows. Very casually, Benny tosses back over his shoulder:

BENNY
I invite you in.

Wesley HOPS BACK OVER THE THRESHOLD AND WALKS IN AGAIN. His move is unnoticed.

WESLEY
Thank you. Considerate.

INT. MANSION HALLWAY AND DINING ROOM - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Benny ushers Wesley through the hall toward a dining room. As they near it, voices are heard.

A man we'll know as PAUL LANIER walks into the hallway. Lanier is in his 50s, wears a suit and speaks with a very slight French or Euro-Blended accent. He speaks politely, smiling even, but with well-banked anger underneath.

LANIER
... I'm not saying it was on purpose.
It's just, obviously, someone gives
your drivers their instructions...

Another man follows him into the hall. This is MR. MAGNUS BRYCE, 49. He's groomed and tailored and he gives the impression of wealth and power. Benny's boss. Even more polite, even steelier underneath.

MR. BRYCE
(smiles)
And your drivers... one little
overreaction, you never know
what that's going to lead to.

Lanier registers the threat, gets nervous.

LANIER
It's good then, that you and
I got together, cleared it all up.
No misunderstandings.

MR. BRYCE
I think you understand me perfectly, Paul.

Intimidated despite himself, Lanier nods and exits down the hall. Mr. Bryce turns his attention to Wesley and Benny.

BENNY
(to Bryce)
This is Angel.

MR. BRYCE
Angel. Sorry to make you wait.
Business thing. Come on in.

Bryce shakes Wesley's hand, then leads Wesley and Benny into the dining room.

MR. BRYCE
I'm pleased to meet you, Angel.
My name is Magnus Bryce.
Benny, get him a drink.

Benny goes to a sidebar with some decanters on it.

MR. BRYCE
Sorry about the hour. But I guess
this isn't so late for your type.

WESLEY
Mr. Bryce, I know who you are, I read
the business pages. I don't know why
you want me here, but this is not the
way to get my cooperation. Your man
abducted me tonight!

MR. BRYCE
I understand you're frustrated.
But I'm a desperate man. You
help people. I need help --
protection for someone very
dear to me. Now relax and
let me explain.

Benny hands Wesley a glass of blood.

BENNY
Cheers

Wesley looks at the drink.

WESLEY
Blood. Mmm. Well, I don't usually...
drink in front of humans.

MR. BRYCE
Please, don't insult me.
Go on... it's fresh.

Wesley tastes the blood. Gags, but keeps it down.

WESLEY
Dear God... that's... nummy.

MR. BRYCE
You've heard of the software, the
cable network... that's all a front.
The family money comes from
wizardry. My great grandfather
created our first spell in his garage.
A simple tallness illusion. Now it's
all custom-design work for people
with the right money.

WESLEY
Really?

MR. BRYCE
You see someone in this town with
looks and talent... odds are we
provided one of 'em. It's like they
say, the Goddess Yeska doesn't
give with both hands.

As Bryce says the following, he turns toward a table. Benny is busy at the sidebar. Wesley takes the opportunity to dump the glass of blood into a large flower arrangement. An instant later he realizes that the flowers are in a large clear glass vase. The blood turns the water red. Wesley jumps to stand in front of the vase.

MR. BRYCE
It's not a nice business. I have a
lot of enemies. Industry rivals.

WESLEY
Like the man in the hall?

MR. BRYCE
Paul Lanier. His firm's in wish-
granting. Scary little Euro-creep.
And there are others.

WESLEY
Lanier is threatening you?

MR. BRYCE
Someone is threatening my daughter.
My only family. Maybe it's Lanier
Maybe it's Briggs over at Consolidated
Curses... There have been letters, and
calls. Twice we caught intruders
inside the house.

WESLEY
But, you're a powerful wizard,
certainly. You must know dozens
of protection spells--

MR. BRYCE
Hundreds. Used them all. But these
guys are in the business. They know
all the tricks.

WESLEY
You want me to say I'll act as
her bodyguard.

Bryce gets up, comes over to Wesley, puts an arm around his shoulder... very intimidating. Benny moves in closer too.

MR. BRYCE
No, you don't really get to say
anything. I'm going to pay you
a lot of money to protect her.
You'll do it and get paid and
we'll both be very happy.

Mr. Bryce smiles. Benny smiles. Wesley looks back and forth between them. He forces a smile.

As we hold on Wesley for a beat:

T'ISH MAGEV (V.O.)
There are two yous...

INT. LAKE CABIN - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel with the Magev...

ANGEL
Two mes?

T'ISH MAGEV
This image you've worked so hard
to create and the real you --

Angel considers that, looks down to his wardrobe.

ANGEL
Maybe my persona is a little affected --

T'ISH MAGEV
A little affected? Come on. How
many warriors slated for the coming
apocalypse you think are gonna be
using that hair gel?

Angel self-consciously touches his hair. The Magev moves to an assortment of weapons...

T'ISH MAGEV
Don't get me wrong, you're out there
battling ultimate evil, you're gonna
want something with hold.

As the Magev selects two sparring sticks --

T'ISH MAGEV
But how do you expect to triumph over
the soldiers of darkness when you're
still fighting yourself?

ANGEL
You think I'm fighting myself?

T'ISH MAGEV
Let's find out...

He tosses on of the poles to Angel. Off Angel, catching it --

OMITTED

INT. BEDROOM (MANSION) - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

The bedroom of VIRGINIA BRYCE, mid-20s. It's full of expensive furniture and lots of bookshelves. Virginia has been lying on her stomach on her bed, reading. She turns around, sensing the presence, of --

Wesley, Bryce and Benny stand at a doorway. Mr. Bryce knocks and enters. Wesley follows him in. Benny stays in the hallway, to stand guard at the door.

MR. BRYCE
Honey, we have a guest.

VIRGINIA
Oh look, the vampire's here.

WESLEY
Um... yes... Hello.

VIRGINIA
Daddy knows how to send out for
just about anything.

MR. BRYCE
Virginia. Play nice. Angel's gone
out of his way to help us.

VIRGINIA
No, he hasn't! You probably brought
him here at gunpoint!

Wesley glances around the room, casting a casual look at his reflection in a vanity mirror. After a moment, he realizes and jumps back.

WESLEY
Aaah!

MR. BRYCE
What? What's wrong?

WESLEY
Cover that mirror!

VIRGINIA
Why? We know you're a vampire.

WESLEY
Do it!

Virginia covers the mirror with a shawl.

WESLEY
I'm terribly sorry. It's just...
strategy. If the attack were
to happen here...
(working it out)
If I had to fight here... Well, I
wouldn't want my opponents
to know too soon... what I
really am.

MR. BRYCE
Good man.

VIRGINIA
Yeah, great. He's already
anticipating letting kidnappers
into my room.

WESLEY
Mr. Bryce, may I speak to Virginia alone?

MR. BRYCE
I don't normally...

Wesley looks at him firmly. Flexing his Angel-influence for the first time.

MR. BRYCE
I'll be right outside.

Mr. Bryce exits. Virginia sits at her vanity table and ignores Wesley.

WESLEY
Virginia, you were right about the
gun. I didn't want to be here.

VIRGINIA
I knew it. He thinks he owns everyone.

WESLEY
But there are threats. It's dangerous.
You need to be protected.

She shrugs. Beat of silence. Wesley looks around the room.

WESLEY
You have a lot of books. You must
spend a lot of time in here.

VIRGINIA
Yeah, well, there have been threats
for a long time. Every time there's
a new one, I buy a bookshelf.

WESLEY
Virginia, we're both stuck here.

She looks at him.

WESLEY
So it seems to me, I might as well do
what he wants me to do... and do my
best to protect you.

VIRGINA
You think you're the vampire for the job?

WESLEY
Well, I want to try. Are you going
to fight me?

She thinks about it, reaches a decision.

VIRGINIA
Let's go shopping.

WESLEY
What? Now? It's the middle of the night.
Wouldn't you rather wait for morning...
(realizing)
When I can't reasonably leave the house.
Yes, as your bodyguard I insist we go
at once.

Virginia and Wesley exit, passing Mr. Bryce and Benny in the hall.

WESLEY
We're going shopping.

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Cordelia has called Gunn to the hotel. She's typing at the computer as he looks on.

GUNN
At gunpoint?

CORDELIA
Yes! The point of a gun! He just
walked Wesley right out of here.
And this whole "I'm Angel" thing
is a very, very bad idea. I mean,
if I thought that would work, I
could've been Angel, because,
guess what, pretty much a girly name.

GUNN
Where'd they go?

CORDELIA
I don't know! I tried to follow
but I lost 'em.

GUNN
Great. So what's the plan?

CORDELIA
The plan is, you go get Angel from
the swami place and I track down
Wesley. This guy that took him,
pretty distinctive, maybe I can find
a criminal record, known associates...
(re: computer screen)
Ooh! Mugshots!

GUNN
I'll bring Angel back quick as I can.

CORDELIA
Great, because this gun-guy was bad
news. I really hate to think where
Wesley might be now.

INT. RITZY WIZARD STORE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

A very up-scale store, the kind of store where the patrons are served champagne as they shop.

The bottle of champagne sits in an ice bucket on a counter. The store is full of glass cases and velvet-covered displays showing wands and parchments and gadgets. Virginia is peering into a glass case as Wesley looks around him, impressed.

WESLEY
I say, this place is extraordinary.
Wizard supplies. It's a little...
exposed, though isn't it? I mean...
are you really safe here?

VIRGINIA
You tell me.

WESLEY
Ah, yes, my job exactly, isn't it?
To make it safe. Well, I shall
certainly do my best.

Virginia is looking into a case on top of which sits a medieval helmet with an ornamental cross on top.

VIRGINIA
(dryly)
We all do our best for Daddy.
Makes shopping for him a real pain.

WESLEY
Ahh. We're looking for a gift, then?

VIRGINIA
For his birthday. Number fifty.
That's why he's so twitchy lately.
Big party means security's dodgy,
plus I think there's a whole mid-life
thing going on.

WESLSY
You're looking for talismans?

VIRGINIA
Images of the Goddess Yeska. His
favorite creepy deity. What do you
think of the gold one?

WESLEY
Attractive, but it's not real gold --
it couldn't be, one good spell
would melt it. I'd go with the iron one.

VIRGINIA
You sound like Dad. He really
gets this stuff, really loves it all...
magic, ritual...

WESLEY
You don't love it?

VIRGINIA
I used to, when I was little. It's
been just him and me for a long
time. He used to site me next to
him at his desk and teach me all
about, you know... runic incantations or...
(indicating the helmet)
Enchanted armor...

WESLEY
Not any more?

VIRGINIA
No. I mean, he still loves the stuff...
guy's gotta love something.

WESLEY
Your father obviously loves you, too.
He's gone to some trouble to protect you...

VIRGINIA
He has his car insured too.

Wesley is touched by this. He looks at her with great sympathy. She looks back at him. Then...

VIRGINIA
Doesn't that hurt?

Wesley looks up to realize that he's got one hand resting on the helmet's cross. He pulls it away.

WESLEY
Yow! Hot! Hot!

VIRGINIA
Are you burned? Let me see!

WESLEY
No, no...

She's reaching for his suspiciously unburned hand. He finds a solution and plunges it into the champagne's ice bucket. The he pulls it out again.

WESLEY
Cold! Cold!

He is further startled by a firm hand gripping his arm. He looks around. A THUG (#1) has him, and steps in to stand very close. A second THUG (#2) has Virginia by the arm.

THUG #1
(softly)
Virginia Bryce. We're going to go now.
Say goodbye to the pretty guy.

Thug #2 is tugging her away from Wesley. She looks at Wesley with panic. He tries to figure out what to do...

WESLEY
Wait, wait, wait...

VIRGINIA
Angel, do something!

At the name, the Thugs react. They look at Wesley.

THUG #2
You're Angel? The vampire?

The Thugs hesitate, take a step back. Wesley notices this.

WESLEY
Yes, I am. I'm Angel.

The Thugs exchange a glance. Wesley stands up straight, getting into the role.

WESLEY
I'm the vampire with a soul.
Fighting for my redemption with...
with... killing evil demons. That's
right! Scourge of the demon world.

Wesley paces, lets the coat do its thing...

WESLEY
Don't worry, boys, I don't kill
humans. Unless I'm really angry.

On "angry," Wesley makes a sudden move. The Thugs flinch and let go of Virginia.

THUG #1
We... we're just doing what he told us...

WESLEY
Who? Lanier?

Thug #2 nods.

WESLEY
Fine. You're going to leave now.
Then you're going to tell Lanier to
forget about the girl. Now go!

The Thugs exit fast.

WESLEY
(to Virginia)
We have to get you back home. It's
not safe for you here. I think if we
gave them a next time, it would get
a lot rougher.

INT./EXT. COVERED BRIDGE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel and the T'ish Magev spar on a covered bridge. Angel is slammed up painfully against a pillar. He charges the Magev who deflects the force with a simple side-step and a casual swipe to send Angel into the wall. Angel is being forced to work at the top of his ability. The Magev is barely sweating.

T'ISH MAGEV
You're holding back --

The Magev gets a nasty blow in, Angel winces.

T'ISH MAGEV
What are you afraid of?

Angel tries to counter --

ANGEL
Nothing --

-- but the Magev pummels him.

T'ISH MAGEV
You're wimping -- this isn't
River Dance! Fight!

The Magev comes at him strong. Angel tries to counter...

ANGEL
I am fighting!

T'ISH MAGEV
Yourself. You're fighting yourself!
Fight me!

Angel tries, but continues to get pounded back.

T'ISH MAGEV
Why are you holding back?
Why can't you let go?

In between blows --

ANGEL
Because -- !

T'ISH MAGEV
Why?

Angel gets mad, manages to pin the Magev -- both breathing heavily now...

ANGEL
If I let it... it would kill you.

T'ISH MAGEV
"It?"

A beat... he finally says it:

ANGEL
The demon...

The Magev grins.

T'ISH MAGEV
Ahh. But the demon is you.

ANGEL
No...

T'ISH MAGEV
Yes. That's the thing you've spent
so much energy trying to conceal --

ANGEL
No. I just... I can't let it control me --

The Magev nods, takes that in...

T'ISH MAGEV
Ahhh. I see.

Wham, bang! The Magev employs a move that sends Angel onto his back. The Magev looks down on his fallen partner --

T'ISH MAGEV
You don't think it controls you?

The Magev tosses away his weapon, walks off, leaving Angel alone to consider these things. Off Angel...

INT. CABIN - MOMENTS LATER (NIGHT 1)

Alone, the T'ish Magev allows himself to wince in pain, puts an ice pack to his side. He talks softly on the phone. By the way, it's one of those novelty phones that look like a duck decoy. Angel is nowhere to be seen.

T'ISH MAGEV
I don't know how long I can keep up
this yoda gag. Sonofabitch is strong...
Plus something we didn't think about --
you know the guy can smell blood.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. PAUL LANIER'S PLACE (NIGHT 1)

The other half of the phone call. A study in another mansion. This study has some magical trappings... masks and weapons on the wall. Paul Lanier is on the phone. The Thugs from the store are with him.

LANIER
What are you talking about?

T'ISH MAGEV
He's a vampire. It's only a matter
of time before he sniffs out where
I stashed the real Magev's body...
I know you wanted me to keep him
up here for the whole weekend, but...

LANIER
Stop, stop, stop! Angel's there?

T'ISH MAGEV
Yeah he's here. He's right outside.
Brooding. He came up here right
after he spoke to The Host, just
like Ramone said he would. Why?

LANIER
The vampire's with you...? Then
who the hell's the English guy?

END OF ACT TWO

Continue on to Part Two

 


 

Guise Will Be Guise

Part 2

(September 13, 2000)

Written by: Jane Espenson

Act Three

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Cordelia sits at the computer. She watches, bored and frustrated as the computer flashes mug shots at her, one after another. She sighs. She glances at a MAGAZINE lying on the desk next to the computer. A tiny bit guilty, she starts flipping through it. She gets more engrossed. The flashing pictures on the computer are completely ignored now as they cast flickering reflections on her face.

CORDELIA
Celeb photos, page 46...

She flips to page 46. Among other photos of celebrity arrivals at some fancy party, is a photo of Mr. Bryce and Virginia. The caption reads "Millionaire-CEO Magnus Bryce and daughter Virginia." Behind the Bryces is visible a highly-recognizable Benny the thug.

CORDELIA
It's him!

INT. MANSION HALLWAY - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Wesley is bringing Virginia back to her room.

WESLEY
I hope you weren't too frightened.

VIRGINIA
No, more... angry, you know?

WESLEY
Well, they were trying to intimidate--

VIRGINIA
Not at them. At the whole thing.
The fact that I have to live like this.

WESLEY
It's a bad situation.

VIRGINIA
"It's a bad situation"? It's a waste
of a life! I keep waiting for my life
to start and it never does! There's
just more locks and surveillance
cameras and...

They round a corner and find themselves near her room. TWO HOODED-AND-ROBED GUARDS stand by the door (they are Thug #3 and Thug #4 -- only #3 talks).

VIRGINIA
...guards. Okay, what this now?
Bedroom guards? Well, you go
back and tell Daddy--

Thug #4 reaches for her, grabs her, twists her arm painfully behind her.

WESLEY
Hey! Stop it! I'm Angel!...

Thug #4 smiles... he knows this isn't really Angel.

WESLEY
...The vampire with a soul!
Fighting for my redempt...

Then Thug #3 opens a hand... there is a FLASH OF LIGHT like stage magicians use...

THUG #3
Let your flesh be weakened,
your spirit--

Wesley acts incredibly quickly, grabbing Thug #3 and SLAMMING his head against the wall, then KICKING Thug #4.

THUG #3
...melted by the heat of--

Wesley grabs Thug #3 by the collar, hauls him to his feet. In his face:

WESLEY
Stop! Your magic will not work!

He PUNCHES Thug #3 again, who starts to scramble away. Thug #4 follows him. Wesley turns to Virginia.

VIRGINIA
You were... amazing.

WESLEY
(surprised)
I was, a bit.

VIRGINIA
Your face... you don't go all...

She scrunches her face.

VIRGINIA
Like a regular vampire?

WESLEY
I suppose I'm not...
like a regular vampire.

EXT. LAKE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Angel and the T'ish Magev (we'll continue to call him that) sit on a landing and fish in the darkness.

ANGEL
Not a vampire at all, really.
Not anymore. They brought
her back as human.

T'ISH MAGEV
Why'd they do that?

ANGEL
I don't know. But seeing her
again... it's just...

T'ISH MAGEV
It's triggered the inner struggle.
Because she's the one who
made you what you are --

ANGEL
Yeah....
(trying to change subject)
You wanna fight again? 'Cause
I think I'm ready.

T'ISH MAGEV
You're ready when I say you're ready.
So this woman, she's no longer a
vampire, so... in a way, she's not
even the one who did this to you --

ANGEL
No. It's still her. Still Darla.
It's kind of hard to explain.

T'ISH MAGEV
What hard? You're obsessed.

ANGEL
I guess I am, a little.

T'ISH MAGEV
You blame her.

ANGEL
I suppose I do, yeah.

T'ISH MAGEV
You want to punish her.

ANGEL
A bit...

T'ISH MAGEV
But at the same time you want
to thank her --

ANGEL
Thank her?

T'ISH MAGEV
For the gift she's given you.

ANGEL
Gift...

T'ISH MAGEV
You're deeply ambivalent.

ANGEL
Well... I am and I'm not.

T'ISH MAGEV
You need to get over her.
Both of you.

ANGEL
Both of me?

T'ISH MAGEV
Haven't you learned anything yet?
The inner and outer yous. The
ensouled man and the demon you
try so hard to control. You both
need a little cognitive therapy.
(sigh)
Okay -- what's she look like?

ANGEL
Look like? Beautiful...
small, blonde...

T'ISH MAGEV
Right. So this is what you do --
go out and find yourself some
small blonde thing. Bed her.
Love her. The treat her like crap.
Break her heart. You and your inner
demon'll thank me, I promise.

ANGEL
Uh--

INT. BEDROOM (MANSION) - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Virginia sits on her bed. Wesley is looking through her bookshelves.

WESLEY
Lots of Patrick O'Brian

VIRGINIA
You've read him?

WESLEY
Oh yes, tall ships and salt spray
and danger. It really transports
you, doesn't it?

VIRGINIA
That was the point. Lying on the floor,
eating jaw breakers and defeating
Napoleon's navy... great life for
an eleven year old.

WESLEY
It sounds pretty much like mine.
Different authors, same escape.

VIRGINIA
I find it hard to believe you spent
your childhood buried in a book.

WESLEY
My father... well, it was generally
good to stay out of his way.

VIRGINIA
So you were shut away, too.
You just did it to yourself.

WESELY
I suppose so.

VIRGINIA
It's so weird, when you talk about
your childhood, Angel. I mean,
to think that was over two hundred
years ago.

He'd forgotten the masquerade for a minute.

WESLEY
(scrambling)
Right. Very long time.
Long time ago.

He looks over at her on the bed. She's lying back, staring at the ceiling. He sits next to her.

WESLEY
Are you all right? I mean,
two close calls like that...

VIRGINIA
I guess so. I don't know.
Are we safe now?

WESLEY
(honestly)
I don't know.

She nodes, accepting that.

VIRGINIA
Sometimes I think about running away.
Isn't that ridiculous? A twenty-four
year-old runaway.

WESLEY
We all want to escape our lives sometimes.

VIRGINIA
I think about getting my own place,
a little apartment. A job... something
silly... one of those perfume sprayers,
or working in a tire store...

WESLEY
A tire store?

VIRGINIA
(with a laugh)
I told you it was ridiculous...

WESLEY
I think it sounds wonderful. Your
father wouldn't allow it, I imagine.

VIRGINIA
Too dangerous. He says they'd grab
me in a second, use me to get to him.
If you think about it, he's saying if I
moved out it would kill him. I'd be
responsible.

WESLEY
That a huge burden to put on you.

She nods, too close to tears to answer. Then:

VIRGINIA
I just... I just want out.

He takes her in his arms. She kisses him. He pulls back...

WESLEY
Virginia...

VIRGINIA
I'm sorry. I know we can't...

WESLEY
Yes... why?

VIRGINIA
Well, you are a pretty famous guy,
you know. I hear the guards talk
sometimes. I know.

WESLEY
Know?

VIRGINIA
About the curse...

EXT. LAKE - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

T'ISH MAGEV
Curse?

ANGEL
Yeah... I thought you knew?

T'ISH MAGEV
Well, they don't tell me
everything... so really,
you can't... at all?

ANGEL
But that's part of what makes me
special, right?

T'ISH MAGEV
Right. No. That's real special...
so it's a sex thing, this curse?

ANGEL
Well... not specifically...

T'ISH MAGEV
Well, then what specifically?

INT. BEDROON (MANSION) - NIGHT (NIGHT 1)

Where they were...

WESLEY
Perfect happiness. Yes.
Of course. Mustn't--

She kisses him.

WESLEY
Mustn't let oneself...

She takes his glasses off and sets them aside.

WESLEY
Let oneself forget...

She kisses his neck.

WESLEY
(quickly)
That this whole "curse" thing has
been widely misinterpreted.

VIRGINIA
Really?

WESLEY
Oh yes. Less of a curse, more of a...
hex, really. Barely that. A recommendation.

VIRGINIA
You sure you're telling me the truth?

That gives him pause.

WESLEY
Virginia, I want to be honest with
you. I want to tell you everything--

She cuts him off with a passionate kiss. He kisses her. Getting lost in it. They wrap together, his face buried in her hair. A picture of passion.

And we prelap:

THUG #1 (V.O.)
He was really good.