Dear Boy

Part 1

(August 22, 2000)

Written by: David Greenwalt

[Note from Rayne: This was a final shooting script, but there were two sets of revisions that occurred after the date listed above. There are significant dialogue differences between this version and the aired version.]

Teaser

A fancy Angel-like collage of rapid fire images - mostly of the city - with one or two of Darla thrown in - takes us to:

EXT. HOTEL - DAY - STOCK

INT. HOTEL - DAY

CAMERA CIRCLES ANGEL, looking haggard, plopped on the couch. We see WESLEY'S and CORDELIA'S bodies moving through frame.

WESLEY
We made you some tea.

ANGEL
Great.

CORDELIA
It's on the table right there in
front of you.

ANGEL
Table… seems… far.

CORDELIA
Ahhh, you must be all worn out
from sleeping for the last three days.

NORMAL ANGLE - Cor turns to Wes (who has one of his big old books).

CORDELIA
It's like living with the world's
oldest teenager - he can't be having
a growth spurt at two hundred and
forty-eight, can he?

ANGEL
Hey, I'm only two hundred and forty-seven.

She shows Wes a piece of paper, figures scrawled on it.

CORDELIA
According to my figures, if we are
frugal and garner some paying
clientele soon, we're financially
sound through last Wednesday.

WESLEY
What? Where's it all going?

CORDELIA
Well, there's the fixed costs - the
mortgage on the giant hotel, my
salary - and there's lots of other -

WESLEY
What about my salary? That's fixed, too.

CORDELIA
What if… every time you identified a
demon in one of your big old books we
gave you ten bucks… or a chicken pot pie.

WESLEY
Oh wait, I have another idea.
No. Get a vision.

CORDELIA
It's not like you just hit me in the head and
WHAM it happens.

WESLEY
What if… we test that theory with one of my
big old books.

Wes gestures with book.

ANGEL
Children, quit bickering. Something will turn
up. Something always does.

Suddenly, Cor is hit with a vision.

CORDELIA
Gyyyeehhh!

Angel leaps to his feet, catching her.

ANGEL
Like that.

CAMERA ROCKETS TO COR - INSERT - HER VISION

A bunch of robed guys fighting with fists and weapons. A very scary MONSTER o' slime seemingly growing out of a wall.

INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY - LATER

Wes scours a slew of big old books laid out on Angel's desk. Angel is near Cor who is pacing.

ANGEL
Are you all right? Don't you want
to sit down?

CORDELIA
(rubs her head)
If I sit I throw up in my head.

WESLEY
Did it look like this?

Wesley shows Cor a DEMON ETCHING in one of the books.

CORDELIA
No, more mushy and moldy - I think
he was growing right out of the wall.

ANGEL
Maybe I'll just…

Angel sits in a chair.

CORDELIA
Mush monster's not going anywhere,
it's the place we've got to find - its
disciples are human, they're killing
each other. I think the fight is over
how to fittingly worship it.

ANGEL
This is why personally
I rarely go to church.

Wes and Cor keep looking at the books, ignoring him.

ANGEL
I thought it was funny.

REVERSE - DARLA

DARLA
So did I.

Darla is sitting on Angel's lap, nuzzling and kissing him. Wes and Cor in b.g. going over books, paying no attention.

DARLA
God I miss you…

REVERSE - Shooting over Wes and Cor we see Angel has dozed off in b.g.

WESLEY
Well, what did the place look like?

ANGEL
Fizzwad!

Angel wakes up suddenly, startling Wes and Cor.

ANGEL
(jumping up)
Didn't doze off, here I am -
where were we?

WESLEY
Trying to ascertain the location in Cordelia's vision.

ANGEL
We're ascertaining, here we go.

CORDELIA
You're so weird lately. It felt sacred,
in a twisted demonic kind of way, it's
underground, like a big tank or
something… full of pillars.

ANGEL
Like a water tank.

CORDELIA
Could be.

ANGEL
Saint Bridget's, in Fremont. A
convent, built on native burial grounds.
The land's cursed, they had eight
murders in two years before the whole
place burned to the ground - which is
nothing compared to what happened
at Our Lady of Lochenbee -
(off their looks)
I have a thing about convents, anyway
the state bought Saint Bridget's and
dug a water tank there…

Angel starts pulling out weapons.

ANGEL
We're gonna need some muscle. Call
Gunn, he's on the payroll now.

WESLEY
Right - but not in a fixed way like me.
He's more an outside contractor - do
you think we can really afford -

ANGEL
Wesley.

WESLEY
(reaching for phone)
Calling Gunn.

INT. BIG TANK - NIGHT

A long stairway leads into the huge cavernous chamber.

Ten or twelve ROBED AND HOODED ACOLYTES (five or six in black robes, five or six in red) are fighting. Behind them, growing out of the pillars, is their slimy, mushy leader, TURFOG. He is huge and hideous.

CRANE OUR HEROES - Angel, Gunn, Wes, Cor

As they quietly move down the stairway, all armed. They reach the bottom of the tank, keeping out of sight behind pillars. THEY ALL WHISPER:

GUNN
Oh you are not paying me enough
for this. My uncle Theo always said
never buy a dull plow and never get
in the middle of a religious war.

CORDELIA
You really have an Uncle Theo?

GUNN
No, but it's still good advice.

ANGEL
(to Wes)
What are you thinking, thrall demon?

WESLEY
Yeah.

ANGEL
So kill the Big Ugly, it un-thralls the
groupies and they stop killin' each other.

WESLEY
Absolutely. Yes. That's the theory.
Thrall demons are tricky.

CORDELIA
At least they're killing each other
and not -

CAMERA RUSHES AT TURFOG whose horrible eyes focus on something in the dim recesses of the tank - our heroes.

TURFOG
INTERLOPERS!

The disciples stop fighting and turn towards our heroes.

CORDELIA
-- us.

The disciples charge. Angel and Gunn lead the counter-charge. Angel takes out a robed guy. Gunn ducks a sword, takes a punch, and punches out another guy.

GUNN
Angel, I'll try to get Fat Head -

Angel punches out two other guys - he's hit by a BIG BRUISER. Angel rolls, comes up and starts beating the hell out of Big Bruiser, oblivious to everything else.

GUNN
-- watch my back.
(nothing from Angel)
Or just keep beatin' on that big guy.

Gunn fights two other guys as:

CORDELIA - Ax in hand, tries to make an end run at Turfog. A ROBED GUY grabs her from behind. Wesley tackles robed guy as Gunn finally breaks through and begins hacking up Turfog.

ANGEL - Still beating on Big Bruiser who is really freaked now.

GUNN - Sinks the final blow. Turfog deflates with a rude sound and lots of running slime.

THE FIGHTERS - Come to their senses, stop fighting.

ANGEL - Still hitting Big Bruiser. Wes pulls him off.

WESLEY
Angel! It's over, it's done…

EXT. BIG TANK - NIGHT

A few disciples, hoods off, looking somewhat normal, wander off into the night. CAMERA FINDS Angel, Cor, Wes and Gunn, all looking the worse for wear, exiting. Angel's car and Gunn's truck are in evidence.

GUNN
(to Angel)
So this whole teamwork shake,
that's a thing of the past now, huh?

ANGEL
Job got done.

Angel tosses his car keys to Cor.

ANGEL
Take the car, I need to…

He heads off. Wes and Cor try to explain to Gunn:

WESLEY
Angel's just… he hasn't been
sleeping that well -

CORDELIA
He's off his game.

GUNN
I didn't know it was a game.

WESLEY
He probably needs to be alone.

EXT. THIRD STREET PROMENADE - NIGHT

Angel in a crowd, walks past TWO CLOWNS making balloon animals (or juggling) for passers-by.

There are street musicians and vendors and performers and a lot of folks out walking. Angel nearly runs into a LARGE HOT DOG. Actually it's a guy wearing the large hot dog - on it is written Frank's franks, best dog in town.

Angel heads on, brooding. Some sixth sense causes him to turn. In the distance, behind the hot dog guy and the clowns he sees a woman.

MEDIUM SIZE - It is, in fact, Darla, a little more sensibly dressed than we've seen her, out walking.

Angel turns, walks back through clown and hot dog guy, loses sight of her for a beat, then she walks into his POV in an even TIGHTER SIZE. Clearly Darla in the flesh.

Off Angel,

END OF TEASER

Act One

EXT. ALLEY/STREET - FLASHBACK - NIGHT

CRANE SHOT - high and wide - we're in the past, London circa 1860 to be exact. There's carriages, horses, Cockneys and fancy dressed folk out walking.

CLOSE - a carriage wipes frame, revealing Angel in period dress and hair moving down the street, looking for someone. He stops, scents the air, looks down an alley.

HIS POV - THE ALLEY - dim and dark, SOMEONE in a period dress is about halfway down it. Angel enters the alley.

ANGLE - THE WOMAN

Her back to us, Angel moves up.

ANGEL
I thought we were meeting in the Square.

The woman, who is of course DARLA, turns. There's a little blood running down from her mouth.

DARLA
I ran into Lord Nichols…
horrid little man…

CAMERA PANS DOWN TO THE GROUND. Lord Nichols lies dead, two vicious bite marks in his neck.

DARLA
…he was propositioning a
streetwalker and dickering over
the price - can you imagine? I
told him I'd do him for nothing.

ANGEL
(charmed)
You're very charitable.

DARLA
I so loathe cheap royalty.

He leans in, half-kisses half-licks the blood off her face.

ANGEL
They all taste the same to me.

DARLA
Mmmmmm… my boy does have
the touch…

ANGEL
Darla…

DARLA
Yes…?

ANGEL
Why'd you kill the streetwalker?

ANGLE - THE GROUND - Next to Lord Nichols, a dead prostitute.

DARLA
Oh, I just liked her.
Guess what's next?

She smiles and heads up the alley. Curious, he follows.

EXT. ALLEY/STREET - FLASHBACK - NIGHT

Darla and Angel exit the alley and walk along the street.

ANGEL
What is it?

DARLA
Surprise. You have to guess.

Angel scans the street, his senses alert.

PAN - Various people, potential victims. A FAMILY (FATHER, MOTHER, THREE TEENAGE TO EARLY TWENTIES DAUGHTERS) emerges from a restaurant. We shouldn't see the girls' faces.

Angel focuses on the family.

ANGEL
The three daughters…
all virgins.

He moves after them, Darla moves with him.

DARLA
You're close…

ANGEL
The one in the middle has
something delicate and unique…
(to Darla, impressed)
Did you find me a Saint?

DARLA
Better than that… she has the sight.

ANGEL
Visions? She sees the future?

Darla nods merrily. Angel's hunger is mounting.

ANGEL
She is pure innocence, yet she
sees what's coming, she knows
what I'm going to do to her…

ANGLE - THE FAMILY

Walking away from us. The girl in the middle turns. It's DRUSILLA. Her eyes are wide and innocent but marked by fear. She looks straight into Angel's eyes.

ANGEL
I'll really have to come up to
snuff for this one.

Drusilla, shaken, quickly looks back. Angel would keep after her but Darla puts a hand on his arm and stops them both.

DARLA
Down boy, let the plum ripen…

ANGEL
(impressed)
You always come up with
something new.

DARLA
Keeps me young.

Darla heads TOWARD CAMERA, leaving Angel to follow. Angel watches Drusilla's departing back then follows Darla.

EXT. THIRD STREET PROMENADE - NIGHT

Twenty-first century Darla heads past camera. A beat later, Angel follows.

DARLA - moves around a corner or behind the big coffee cart.

ANGEL - follows. But when he gets there she is gone. He turns, looks all around. No Darla.

POSSIBLE HIGH SHOT - Angel in the crowd, turning, looking.

INT. HOTEL - RECEPTION/LOBBY - NEXT DAY

CLOSE - ANGEL'S CARD in a man's hands. The card is rumpled - the hands work the card nervously.

HAROLD
They say he handles things…

WIDER - HAROLD JEAKINS, 30's or 40's, meets with Cor and Wes.

HAROLD
…you know, unusual things.
I'd like to see him right away.

CORDELIA
And he wants to see you -
just as soon as he returns from
an important case. Why don't
I take a preliminary report and
give you a list of our
convenient payment plans…

She hands Harold a list.

HAROLD
Well, like I said, it's unusual…
my wife, Claire, she's really a lovely…
(fights the emotion)

WESLEY
Go on, it's all right.

HAROLD
She gets abducted by aliens,
on a regular basis.

Cor and Wes exchange a look.

HAROLD
It's more common than people
realize… one minute she's there
and the next… she always comes
back in a day or so…

WESLEY
What is it you'd like us to do, Mr. Jeakins?

HAROLD
I trust Claire - but I found this
receipt from the Franklin Hotel…
(produces receipt)
…weekend before last when she
was supposed to be…
(fighting tears)
…in the Trifid Nebula!

Cor takes the receipt, looks at Wes, then:

CORDELIA
I'm sure we can get to the bottom of this.

Behind them, from under the stairs, Angel enters, looking like he's been out all night walking and brooding.

HAROLD
I mean if it's not aliens…
(sees Angel)
Are you Angel…?

CORDELIA
Mr. Jeakins, say hello to your new
best friend.

HAROLD
(rises)
Do you think my wife's cheating on me?

ANGEL
Probably…

Angel drifts past them towards his office. Harold is speechless. Cor covers with:

CORDELIA
He really likes you,
he's jumping right in.

Cor looks at Wes, gestures (re: Harold) get him out.

HAROLD
He's taking the…? He didn't seem that…

Wes walks Harold towards door; Cor heads to Angel's office.

WESLEY
Oh he's eccentric, all the great ones
are. Sherlock Holmes, Phillip Marlowe…

HAROLD
Those are fictional characters.

WESLEY
Right you are! Which gives Angel
rather a leg up when you think about it -

INT. HOTEL - BEHIND RECEPTION - DAY

Angel has his back to Cor as she moves to the computer, starts typing.

CORDELIA
That's a terrific way to treat our paying
customers - especially since we have
so many of them.

Angel moves up behind her. Rather close. Leans down over he shoulder. She thinks he's looking at the file she's entering.

CORDELIA
See his file?

Angel is smelling her hair, a little lost in his own world.

CORDELIA
He has Visa, MasterCard and a
problem - he's our target audience.
But if you want to be rude, I guess
it's your shop… Angel?

Angel is now running his fingers through her hair and petting her.

CORDELIA
What are you…? You're kind of
in my personal bubble -
PERSONAL BUBBLE!

Cor jumps back as Wes enters, steamed.

WESLEY
(an angry man)
I need to speak to you, man to man.
Cordelia, you may not want to be
here for this -
(plaintive)
…was it something I did?

CORDELIA
He was feeling my hair.

WESLEY
What?

ANGEL
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - I've
been so out of it lately. Because of
her. I saw her, here in town. Last night.

CORDELIA
Oh no, not again. Look I like Buffy
as much as the next -

ANGEL
Not Buffy, Darla.

WESLEY
Darla, the vampire? Your sire?

ANGEL
I've been dreaming about her like
crazy. And the dreams have been so…
(more to himself)
…I thought I was losing my mind.
But she's back, she's alive.

WESLEY
What you're saying is impossible.
You staked her to dust three and a
half years ago.

ANGEL
I know that. I also know it was her.

WESLEY
Vampires don't come back from the dead.

ANGEL
I did. And I saw her.

WESLEY
All right, I'll play. Where?

ANGEL
Right between the clowns and
the big hot dog guy.
(off their looks)
Walking on the promenade.

WESLEY
You said yourself you've been having
dreams. Maybe it's guilt over killing
your sire…

CORDELIA
Right, guilt. Who loves guilt like you
love guilt? You know what you need?
You need to go to work. We just got
an exciting new case: could be aliens,
could be adultery. It's a corker!

ANGEL
(not really listening)
Maybe I'm dreaming about her
because she's here…

WESLEY
And maybe you think she's here
because you're dreaming about her.

HARD CUT:

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - LINDSEY'S OFFICE - DAY

Dark and gloomy as usual, Darla glides through the office. LINDSEY watches her.

DARLA
He's falling apart.

LINDSEY
That's wonderful. Unhinging a
man with all his particular strengths
and weaknesses takes a lot of work.

DARLA
Oh I wouldn't call it work.

Lindsey smiles at that, then:

LINDSEY
Whatever you'd call it, I'm glad you're
here. You've given us a lot of valuable
information… the way you two tore it
up for a hundred and fifty years…
the way he planned his tortures down
to the smallest detail…

Lindsey absently touches his prosthetic hand with his normal one.

DARLA
He did that to you.
(Lindsey nods)
What's it feel like?

LINDSEY
Doesn't feel like anything.

DARLA
Can I?
(gestures: touch it)

Beat. He holds it up a little. She strokes his fake hand.

DARLA
It's very… smooth.
You don't feel anything.

LINDSEY
Not in my hand.

Beat. She lets go.

LINDSEY
How is it, seeing him again?

DARLA
It's strange.

LINDSEY
(nods)
He betrayed you.

DARLA
Everyone betrays you, that's not
what eats you in the long winter's night…

LINDSEY
What does?

DARLA
Missed opportunities. He got a soul
and it sickened me. I didn't know a
moment of true happiness could bring
back my Angelus… and who did he
replace me with, who did he want to
rut day and night? The little cheerleader.
God, I could eat his eyeballs.

LINDSEY
Our plans for Angel are a little more
long range than that - but if you just
can't help yourself, be my guest -
and remember to take pictures.

DARLA
You're fun for a human.

LINDSEY
I like my work… that reminds me…

Lindsey picks up a manila envelope.

LINDSEY
…little something for a friend.

INT. PRECINCT - DAY

THE MANILA ENVELOPE

Moves through the smallish set. Being carried by DETECTIVE CARLSON.

He approaches Kate's desk. KATE LOCKLEY sits behind it. Doing paper work, listening to the police scanner on her desk.

POLICE SCANNER (O.S.)
…four-thirteen in progress at the
corner of Yucca and Ivar… Unit
six is responding…

Kate looks up.

KATE
Jack, what brings you to Siberia?

CARLSON
Hello Kate.

KATE
You been sick?

CARLSON
(caught a little off guard)
No…

KATE
Busy then - you know, too busy
to pick up a phone and say hi.
(beat)
We were friends. I thought you
were different.

CARLSON
Hey, I went to bat for you - I stuck
my neck out when they decided to
move you out of downtown. But
you're not interested in mainstream
work, you've got your scanner…
(points to scanner)
…going day and night, chasing the
bizarre and grotesque, what, did
you think they'd promote you?

Beat. He drops the envelope on her desk.

CARLSON
A friend of a friend thought you
might want this.

She opens the envelope. INSIDE: a picture of the Hyperion Hotel and a new business card of Angel's, with new address and phone number on it. Also a very simple note that reads: He's moved.

KATE
Thanks.

CARLSON
Stay out of trouble.

He goes.

EXT. L.A. - STOCK - DAY TO NIGHT TO DAY

EXT. FRANKLIN HOTEL - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT. FRANKLIN HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY

An upscale hotel. With a restaurant and bar in the lobby. CONVENTIONEERS and YUPPIES. Follow a COCKTAIL WAITRESS in REVEALING UNIFORM as she stops at the bar, replaces a stack of cocktail napkins.

CAMERA sees that the waitress is in fact Cordelia. ZOOM IN on the napkins: a tiny microphone peaks out near the bottom of the stack.

Cordelia adjusts napkins so mic is pointed at CLAIRE and REPAIR MAN standing at bar, trying to look discreet.

MAN
You sure about this, right in the
middle of the day?

CLAIRE
Carl, the aliens abduct me when
the mood hits…

CAMERA STEADIS away from them, Claire's voice gradually changing from "live" tone to a thinner "recorded" one.

CLAIRE (O.S.)
…and the mood hit pretty hard
this morning right about the time
Harold left for work…

MAN (O.S.)
No kiddin', yeah?

CAMERA FINDS a small tape recording device. A HAND pulls a long dark coat over the device as we HEAR:

CLAIRE (O.S.)
Of course if you're not in the mood…

CAMERA PANS UP to Angel, earwig in his ear, listening from a discreet corner of the lobby.

MAN (O.S.)
No, no, I'm in the mood, I'm
deep in the mood…

Claire laughs; Angel listens, a sour expression on his face.

MAN (O.S.)
It's just I still got a lota repairs…

ANGLE - WESLEY in another discreet part of the lobby, snapping pictures of the couple with a small camera.

CLAIRE (O.S.)
So let's go upstairs.

THE MAN - drops money on bar, heads for elevators with Claire.

CORDELIA - looks to Wes who nods slightly, got 'em. She looks to Angel who suddenly starts moving. STEADI as he passes Wesley - who coolly looks the other way - Angel grabs Wes's camera, moves into the line of the couple.

ANGEL
Claire, hold on…

She stops, startled.

ANGLE - Cor joins Wes.

CORDELIA
What's he doing now?

WESLEY
I don't know.

ANGEL AND THE COUPLE

CLAIRE
Do I, uh, know you?

ANGEL
Look, I'm no prude but this is just…
I'm over here behind some plant with
this machine, recording you two; and
my associates there…

He points out Wes and Cor who suddenly look very sheepish.

ANGEL
…tailing you around town, taking pictures…

MAN
(re: camera)
You got pictures?

ANGEL
You're not fooling anyone, your
husband knows. Just go home and
tell him the truth - work it out or
leave him, I don't care, but this…
it's just scummy.

Angel rips the film out of the camera. Claire turns; marches out of the hotel. Man, relieved, heads off in another direction. Angel moves off, Cor and Wes fall into step with him.

CORDELIA
What was that? We had a paying client.

ANGEL
Some things aren't worth getting paid for.

CORDELIA
Easy to say when you don't need solid
food to survive.

WESLEY
I really don't know what to make of
your behavior lately…

Angel spots something O.S.

HIS POV - In the restaurant, A MAN (STEPHEN) gives a woman (DARLA) a kiss and heads out. Darla, dressed stylishly but conservatively, gets the check from a WAITRESS.

ANGEL
That's her.

DARLA signs the check, putting her wallet in her purse. She nearly bumps into Angel.

DARLA
I'm sorry…

She politely tries to sidestep him. He moves with her, blocking her path.

ANGEL
Hello, love. You're back. Why?

DARLA
Excuse me?

By now Wes and Cor have moved up to witness:

ANGEL
I know the voice, Darla - I can smell you.

CORDELIA
Uh oh…

DARLA
My name isn't Darla, now please
leave me alone.

Darla again tries to go, he grabs her arm, causing her to drop her purse.

ANGEL
You want to play games? I can play games.

She bends down to gather the spilled items: wallet, lipstick, etc. Angel bends down too.

ANGEL
Somebody went to a lot of trouble
with the new identity…

Angel scoops up the wallet, Darla snatches it out of his hand as Wesley leans down.

WESLEY
Angel, I really think -

A HOTEL SECURITY MAN comes over.

SECURITY GUY
Is everything all right?

DARLA
No.
(stands up)
This man is -
(to Angel, heartfelt)
Look, my name is DeEtta Kramer.
My husband is out front getting our
car right now. I don't know who
you think I am but I don't know
anyone named Darla.

SECURITY GUY
Why don't you step over here.

Security Guy reaches for Angel who hurls him back, he stumbles and falls. People stop to watch, he's creating a scene.

CORDELIA
Angel!

He grabs Darla, not gently.

ANGEL
What do you want?

She wrenches her arm free and runs out the front door - RIGHT INTO THE DIRECT SUN and the arms of Stephen who is paying the valet for their car.

STEPHEN
Darling, what is it?

DARLA
There's a man inside, he… attacked me.

STEPHEN
What? Where is he…?
(to valet)
Call the police.

FROM ANGEL'S POV - Darla crying, pointing back towards the lobby.

Wes, Cor and Angel all react. Off Angel.

END OF ACT ONE

Act Two

INT. HOTEL - AFTERNOON

Angel blows through the stairwell door - a moment later Wes and Cor (still in cocktail uniform) follow.

CORDELIA
Guys, that was really fun, the public
humiliation, running from the hotel's
security staff - and the nifty outfit
which seemed to tell so many
conventioneers "pet me, I'm a whore."

Angel moves to hotel desk, rifling through a big phone book.

WESLEY
It wasn't pleasant but at least
there's a silver lining.

CORDELIA
What silver lining?

WESLEY
The woman walked into direct
sunlight - obviously she's not
a vampire named Darla, obviously
Angel… made a mistake.

CORDELIA
Ya' think?

WESLEY
We'll just put our heads together
and help him come to grips with this thing.
(to Angel)
You're among friends, we're not
going to condemn you.

CORDELIA
Right.
(to Angel)
You're crazy, you need professional help.

ANGEL
It was Darla. She's back - and she's
human now - but I know her scent.

WESLEY
Angel, you can't just… sniff a
person and know -

Angel leans ever so slightly closer to Wes, inhales.

ANGEL
You had sex last night, with a
bleached blond.

WESLEY
Good Lord, how'd you…?

CORDELIA
That's unbelievable.
(to Wesley)
…I didn't think you ever had sex.

ANGEL
(closes phone book)
She's not in the book.

CORDELIA
Who, Darla?

ANGEL
DeEtta Kramer, the person she's
pretending to be.
(to Cor)
Run a title deed search, see if you
can find an address for a DeEtta
and Stephen Kramer. I'm gonna
try some other avenues.

Angel starts to go, stops.

ANGEL
Wes, you got any money? I'll
need a few bucks for the cover charge.

WESLEY
Cover charge? You're going to -

ANGEL
Do whatever it takes.

INT. KARAOKE BAR - NIGHT

ANGEL
(sings)
"Lord I Was Born A Ramblin' Man/
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the
best I can…"

The crowd, a few demons, watches with appropriate pity. THE HOST - Sips a drink, watching Angel intently.

ANGEL
(sings)
"…and when it's time for leavin'/
I hope you'll understand/That I
was born a Ramblin' Man…"

Angel finishes abruptly, makes a beeline through to the Host.

HOST
Goodness me, that was quite a number.

ANGEL
Here's what I need to know -

HOST
Slow down, big fella'. Your aura's
on fire tonight. Whew, somebody
get me some Raybans.
(shades his eyes)

ANGEL
I want to know about Darla.

HOST
Interesting time, you're at a crossroads.
Next turn could be crucial…

ANGEL
Will you please tell me about Darla.

HOST
No.

ANGEL
Hey, I just got up there and bared
my soul in front of everyone.

HOST
You got up there and mangled the
Allman Brothers - "Ramblin' Man"
is all wrong for you - if it was
"I'm No Angel", I could see that.

ANGEL
What about Darla?

HOST
Lips are sealed, bro'.

ANGEL
What? You tell every
low rent demon what to do.

HOST
I tell beings what their path is - I try
to give 'em a roadmap - this little
highway you want to take is headed
straight for Disaster, Maine.

ANGEL
Where is she?

HOST
Not if you got up there and sang every
Slim Whitman song in the world.

Angel moves off, digging out his cell phone, dialing.

INTERCUT:

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT

Cordelia (no longer in cocktail garb) answers phone.

CORDELIA
Angel Investigations, we solve
big problems for small prices -

ANGEL
It's me. Did you get an address?

ANGLE TO INCLUDE WESLEY

CORDELIA
(to Wes)
It's him.
(into phone)
Angel, Wesley and I think you
really need to -

ANGEL
Cordelia, address, now.

CORDELIA
(re: note pad)
DeEtta and Stephen Kramer own
a home at fourteen oh nine
Galloway in Studio City.

ANGEL
Got it.

He hangs up. ANGEL OUT.

CORDELIA
He hung up.

Wesley moves to a cabinet, unlocking it under:

WESLEY
You really stood up to him.
(mimics Cor)
"Next time I talk to him, I won't
weenie out like you, Wesley."

CORDELIA
Don't start with me - and if I
sound like that, shoot me.

Wesley removes a large tranquilizer gun from the cabinet.

CORDELIA
(re: gun)
She joked.

WESLEY
It's not for you. It's a tranquilizer gun.

CORDELIA
You mean if Angel really goes off
his rocker like he's done before…

WESLEY
We'll have to restrain him.

CORDELIA
I'll get my chains.

WESLEY
I think I better call Gunn.

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Angel's car pulls silently to a stop, it's engine already off. Angel slips out of the car. Moves down the block a few houses, checks out the one at 1409.

ANGEL'S POV - A perfectly nice home. Stephen, visible through the living room window, reads a book inside.

Angel moves up onto the lawn. A YOUNG COUPLE out walking their dog, give him a funny look.

ANGEL
I'm… gas company.

They move on but clearly do not trust him. He looks back as:

ANGEL'S POV - DARLA

Enters the living room, gives Stephen a kiss, says something. He laughs, gets up. Angel watches them move into the dining room where dinner is set.

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Stephen holds Darla's chair for her.

DARLA
(sitting)
Thank you.

STEPHEN
Of course, sweetheart.
(smiles, sits)
Was that too much? I mean we're
supposed to be married, would I
still be holding your chair for you
if we were married?

DARLA
That was fine. Just eat.

Stephen scoops up linguini for both of them.

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Angel watches the scene, looks like any couple having dinner.

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

STEPHEN
When I was at the actor's studio
we always struggled to find the
truth of the moment.

CAMERA DRIFTS AROUND, DISCOVERING DARLA'S GUARD, hidden (from the windows) in the shadows, earwig in his ear.

STEPHEN
Truthfully I'm not sure I'd be
holding your chair -- mmm, this
linguini smells so, you know, true -
I'm just gonna mime eating it,
gotta watch the figure.
(glances around)
So is he, you know, watching us right now?

DARLA
Just nod and smile pleasantly, Stephen.

STEPHEN
What'd this guy do to you anyway?
You're sure goin' to a lot of trouble
to teach him a lesson - not that I mind,
work is work, last year I was doing
this puppet theatre of the absurd and
believe me -

Darla's hand slips out of sight beneath the table cloth in the general region of his crotch.

STEPHEN
Ow-oh!

Darla's guard winces: painful grab.

DARLA
If you don't shut up I'm going to kill you.

STEPHEN
Okay…

DARLA
Lindsey, can you hear me?

We CLOSE in the earwig in Darla's ear and INTERCUT:

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - LINDSEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

CLOSE - SPEAKERPHONE, a hand turns up the volume; WIDER - Lindsey speaks into it.

LINDSEY
I can hear you. How's the linguini?

DARLA
He's here. I can feel him…

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Angel watches the tableau - Darla's perfectly sweet expression still that of the happy housewife.

LINDSEY
We know.

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

LINDSEY
I need a few more minutes to set
things in motion.

DARLA
Hurry up.

STEPHEN
Who're you talking to?
(she looks at him)
I'm shutting up.

INT. HOTEL - NIGHT

Gunn stares at tranquilizer gun and chains as Wes and Cor, looking through a lot of old books, talk to him.

CORDELIA
It's not like every time he gets this
cranky he turns evil…

GUNN
But if he turns into Angelus…

WESLEY
It's a problem.

CORDELIA
We're researching Darla right now,
maybe she was a vampire cat with
nine lives or something… when
push comes to shove, Angel's our…
we trust him.

GUNN
(re: chains and gun)
I see. What's so special about D-Girl,
other than she sired him?

CORDELIA
Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they'd
had a hundred and fifty years to get it right.

WESLEY
They rampaged through half the
known world until Angel got a soul.

GUNN
Legendary love, the kind that leaves
a trail of broken dreams in its path.

CORDELIA
In their case it was broken necks, but,
same idea.

GUNN
So whether this is Darla or not, the
hook's in, he thinks his party girl's
back. If he gets up to his old tricks,
what can we expect?

Off Wesley's discomfort.

INT. CONVENT - MOTHER SUPERIOR'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT

Camera pans a plaque: SISTERS OF MERCY. Angelus in 1860, stares hard at something we don't see. Footsteps behind him on the stone floor. Darla, in period costume, enters.

ANGEL
(without turning)
Hello love.

DARLA
Hello dear boy. Quite a mess out
there. Blood and habits everywhere.

ANGEL
Convents, they're just a big cookie tin.

Now we see what Angel was staring at: Drusilla, tied up, completely mad, a HEALED GASH along her throat. Near her, a couple of discreet dead bodies in nun's habits on the floor.

DRUSILLA
Pretty maids three, none left of thee…

DARLA
She's still alive? After what you
did to her family and her nunnery?

ANGEL
Caught her just in time, trying to
cut her own throat. What a waste
that would have been.
(to Dru)
You know that's a sin, Drusilla,
and that your blood is mine now…

DRUSILLA
Mummy and Daddy, Sisters of Mercy,
all dead, all eaten up in their beds…
(screams)
KILL ME!! KILL ME!!

DARLA
We should oblige her, she's awfully loud…

ANGEL
Not just yet…

He kisses Darla, rather savagely.

ANGEL
Can you guess what's next?

DARLA
We eat her after…

ANGEL
During, my love.

DARLA
Kill her during, all right…

Some of their clothes are coming off now.

ANGEL
I'm not going to kill her. I'm going
to make her one of us.

Drusilla's mad eyes watch them.

DARLA
One of us? Are you sure that's a
good idea?

DRUSILLA
Toast and tea and maggots for me…

ANGEL
She's very special, I put a lot of
time into her… and I like the poetry…

As they lie down, virtually on top of mad Dru and the nuns:

DARLA
But, dear boy, she's insane.

ANGEL
And now she'll be insane forever.

Even Darla is a little taken aback by this idea.

DARLA
I guess it's something new…

ANGEL
Keeps me young.

They kiss hard, clothes coming off, Dru's eyes huge with horror.

ANGEL
Mmmmm, who's thigh is that…?

DRUSILLA
AAAHHHHHHH!!!!

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

CLOSE ON WINDOW - Darla, smiling pleasantly, gets up, gathers up dinner dishes.

Angel, very intense, moving closer to the house as Darla and Stephen carry dinner dishes out of his line of view.

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

DARLA
Lindsey, I'm waiting…

LINDSEY
You're on. Have fun.

Darla picks up a phone, dials 911. We HEAR OPERATOR'S VOICE, "This is 911, what is your emergency?"

DARLA
(into phone)
My name is DeEtta Kramer, I live
at fourteen oh nine Galloway -
there's a man outside. I told him
to go away - oh my god, he's
breaking in, he's going to kill us -
HELP ME!!

Darla calmly rips the phone out of the wall.

STEPHEN
Whoah, whoah, whoah, what was
that? I didn't sign up for…

Darla ignores him, turns to her guard.

DARLA
Do it. And make it look real.

STEPHEN
That was illegal -

Darla's guard morphs into a vamp. Stephen drops his dishes.

STEPHEN
Ahhhh!!

Darla's Vampire Guard back-hands Darla, she goes flying.

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Angel hears dishes crashing, Stephen screaming, sounds of a terrible assault and:

DARLA
Help me!! Somebody help me!
Let him go - please - OH GOD!!

Angel bolts -

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

The front door is blasted open, Angel comes flying in. Darla huddles in a corner, hysterical. And APPROACHING SIRENS can already be heard outside. Angel moves towards Darla, big bruise on her cheek.

DARLA
Don't hurt me.
PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

Angel looks at Stephen lying on the ground next to Darla, lot of blood on his throat, very dead.

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART - LINDSEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Lindsey listens on his speaker phone:

DARLA (O.S.)
Why did you… he was my husband…!

LINDSEY
(pleased)
Woman should have her own series.

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

We HEAR COP CARS ROAR UP OUTSIDE, running footsteps. Angel looks from dead Stephen to Darla, getting it now.

DARLA
NO!! PLEASE!!

TWO COPS BURST IN, GUNS DRAWN. Darla screams at Angel:

DARLA
What did you do -
WHAT DID YOU DO?!

The cops look down at dead Stephen, level their guns at Angel. Off Angel, trapped.

END OF ACT TWO

Continue on to Part Two

Dear Boy

Part 2

(August 22, 2000)

Written by: David Greenwalt

Act Three

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

As before, Darla reaches to touch her dead "husband".

DARLA
Stephen, STEPHEN! Oh god…!

COP #1
(to Angel)
Turn and face the wall, drop to
your knees. NOW!

ANGEL
(ignores cop; to Darla)
You'll pay for this.

She wails louder.

COP #1
ON YOUR KNEES, DO IT!

Angel turns and runs -

INT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - HALL - NIGHT

Both cops fire. He takes a couple of hits, jumps straight up and through an attic access door in the ceiling.

COP #1
He's in the attic -
(to Cop #2)
-- stay with him.

STEADI FAST with Cop #1 back into the living room as two or three more cops enter, guns drawn. Darla wails on the floor.

COP #1
He's in the attic, seal the house,
I want SWAT, NOW!

Suddenly a dark shape falls past a side window.

COP #1
There he is!

They tear outside, after the dark shape. We HEAR MORE GUNFIRE lots of SHOUTING and running. CAMERA MOVES TOWARDS DARLA who looks up calmly, the tears running down her cheeks but no sorrow in her eyes; in fact, a trace of a smile.

DISSOLVING TO:

OMITTED

EXT. DEETTA KRAMER'S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - NIGHT

Kate walks a very distraught Darla outside, wrapping a police blanket around her, moving her a discreet distance from all the police activity.

KATE
DeEtta, I know this is the worst
possible time, but I need you to
tell me everything you can about
the man who murdered your husband.

DARLA
They shot him… how'd he get away?

KATE
Adrenaline. They chased him for
sixteen blocks. Don't worry, he's
long gone, he can't hurt you now.
(beat)
One of my officers told me you
recognized this man, that his name
was Angel…

DARLA
(nods)
…that's what he said his name was,
he started following me a few weeks
ago. He kept saying he helps the
helpless. I told him I didn't need any
help. And he kept calling me Darla.

KATE
Darla.

DARLA
He said he knew me - or this Darla -
from a long time ago. I told him to
leave me alone and Stephen…
my husband…

She breaks down. Kate waits compassionately.

DARLA
Stephen said we had to file a complaint
and we did - and today we were having
lunch at the Franklin Hotel and he
showed up again. He hit their Security
Man… we filed another complaint and
then tonight he showed outside - I told
him to stay out, that I was calling the
police, he broke in and…<